After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the...

Joke from category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

proposed: 22 Aug 2007

After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility.
One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?"
After a moment, her youngest son replied quizzically, "Once?"

A man is walking along a cliff and all of a sudden loses his balance, slips, and falls off. Fortunately, he has the presence of mind to grab on to the edge, and he's hanging there for dear life. [...]
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A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage and requested: I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one? The marriage officer said: Your requirements [...]
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On a sunny morning, William's mother came into her son's room and said, "William, it's Sunday. Time to get up! Time to get up and go to church! Get up!"
From under the covers came mumbles, "I don't want to go!"
"What do you mean?" she said. "That's silly! Now get up and get dressed and go to church!"
"No!" he shot back. "I'll give you two reasons. I don't like them and they don't like ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Saturday, 14 July 2007


Hung Chow calls work and says:
- Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I no come work.
The boss says:
- You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like that I go to my wife and tell her to sing for me. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that.
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again:
- Boss, I do what you say ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 16 March 2005


I'm sorry that you haven't gotten much email from me lately. It's because I'm tired. For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004


This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.

You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Well, my job is done! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 18 January 2007


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 April 2007


A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house,so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004


A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included 20 Admirals from the US, English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies.
At a reception, he found himself standing with a huge group of officers that included personnel from most of the countries.
Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks, but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 4 July 2007


The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005


Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor.
"I'm here to do my postnatal exercises."
The instructor gave me an appraising look. "How old is your baby?"
"Twenty-six," I replied. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 February 2008


News from Heaven: Due to the current
financial crisis facing the world at the
moment, the light at the end of the
tunnel will be switched off to save on
electricity costs, until further ...News from Heaven: Due to the current financial crisis facing the world at the moment, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off to save on electricity costs, until further notice.

Sincerely yours,
God ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 21 November 2008


From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 2 November 2004


During a taxi, the crew of a US Air departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with a United 727. The irate ground controller (a female) lashed out at the US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I know it's difficult to tell the difference between a C ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 25 March 2008


Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy....... The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 5 May 2005


3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story

This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004


All the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek. Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den. He is supposed to count up to 100 and then start searching. Everyone starts hiding except Newton. Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein. Einstein's counting: 1,2,3..97,98,99,100.
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 September 2005