A man is walking along a cliff and all of a sudden loses his balance, slips, and falls off. Fortunately, he has the presence of...
proposed: 20 Aug 2007
A man is walking along a cliff and all
of a sudden loses his balance, slips,
and falls off. Fortunately, he has the
presence of mind to grab on to the edge,
and he's hanging there for dear life. He
hangs and hangs an finally yells out:
"Is there anybody up there who can help
me?" You Know You Have a Bad Computer When... 10. The lower corner of screen has the words Etch A Sketch on it. 9. When you insert a disk, it spits out a pack of cigarettes. 8. You have [...]
There's no answer.
calling and calling. "Is there anybody
up there who can help me?".
this big bellowing voice calls back.: "
This is God. I can help you.
let go and TRUST." Next thing you hear:
" Is there anybody ELSE up there who can
previous joke After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, How many times do [...]
Heaven is where the police are British,
the chefs Italian, the mechanics German,
the lovers French and it is all
organized by the Swiss.
where police are German, the chefs
British, the mechanics French, the
lovers Swiss and it is all organized by
the Italians. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 29 November 2005
News from Apple
announced today that is has developed a
computer chip that can store and play
music in women's breast implants.
The iBoob will cost between $499 and
This is considered to be
a major breakthrough, because women are
always complaining about men staring at
their breasts and not listening to them.
Thank to Apple, everyone is now
happy. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 28 November 2007
One sunny day in 2005 an old man
approached the White House from across
Pennsylvania Ave, where he'd been
sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the
US Marine standing guard and said, "I
would like to go in and meet with
The Marine looked
at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is
no longer president and no longer
resides here." The old man said, "Okay"
and walked away.
The following ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 24 November 2005
A pickpocket was appearing in court for
a series of petty crimes. "Mr.
Brewster," the judge said, "you are
hereby found guilty and fined the sum of
After consulting with his
client, Mr. Brewster's lawyer stood up
and said, "Your Honor, my client is a
little short at this time. He has only
$125 in his pocket, but if you would
allow him a few minutes in the crowd..." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 March 2007
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the
river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his
clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan
A: The animals told
him. Your tail is in front". ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 February 2007
All eyes were on the radiant bride as
her father escorted her down the aisle.
They reached the altar and the waiting
groom; the bride kissed her father and
placed something in his hand. The guests
in the front pews, and the minister,
responded with ripples of laughter. As
her father gave her away in marriage,
the bride had given him back his credit
card. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 28 November 2006
On some air bases, the Air Force is on
one side of the field and civilian
aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the
middle. One day the tower received a
call from an aircraft asking, "What time
The tower responded, "Who is
The aircraft replied,
"What difference does it make?"
tower replied, "It makes a lot of
difference. If it is an American ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 10 July 2007
A school teacher sends this note to all
parents on the first day of school: "If
you promise not to believe everything
your child says happens at school, I'll
promise not to believe everything he
says happens at home." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 27 January 2008
A young man married a beautiful woman
who had previously divorced ten
husbands. She told her new husband,
"Please be gentle with me, as for me
it's the first time."
the puzzled groom. "How can that be if
you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales
Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be."
#2 was in Software Services; he was
never ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 2 August 2006
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks
into a pharmacy and wanders up & down
The sales girl notices
him and asks him if she can help him. He
answers that he is looking for a box of
tampons for his wife. She directs him
down the correct aisle.
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of
cotton balls and a ball of string on the
She says, confused, 'Sir, I
thought you were ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 30 May 2010
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in
the Caribbean. The lawyer said:
here because my house burned down, and
everything I owned was destroyed by the
fire. The insurance company paid for
"That's quite a
coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm
here because my house and all my
belongings were destroyed by a flood,
and my insurance company also paid for
The lawyer ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 4 April 2007
I can't send my
salary this month, so I am sending 100
kisses. You are my sweetheart.
His wife replied back after some
days to her husband:
Thanks for your 100
kisses, I am sending the expenses
1. The Milk man agreed on 2
kisses for one month's milk.
The electricity man only agreed after 7
3. ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 13 September 2005
A man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
is the triumph of imagination over
When a woman
steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her keep him. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 6 October 2006
Three engineering students were gathered
together discussing the possible
designers of the human body.
said, "It was a mechanical engineer."
Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical
The last one said,
"Actually it must have been a civil
engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005