Woman = Time * Money Time = Money Woman = Money * Money Money = root of all problems Woman = Problems.

Joke from category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

proposed: 14 Jul 2007
Woman = Time * Money Time = Money Woman = Money * Money Money = root of all problems Woman = Problems.

Woman = Time * Money
Time = Money
Woman = Money * Money
Money = root of all problems
Woman = Problems.

On a sunny morning, William's mother came into her son's room and said, William, it's Sunday. Time to get up! Time to get up and go to church! Get up! From under the covers came mumbles, I [...]
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A blonde at the grocery store: - I would like 4 tomatoes, 4 potatoes and 4 onions. - I can help you with the tomatoes and the potatoes, but not with the onions... - Ok... than I'll have [...]
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A newlywed farmer and his wife were
visited by her mother, who immediately
demanded an inspection of the place.
While they were walking through the
barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared
up and ...A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 19 December 2008


Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying:
- Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.
- OH NO!, the president exclaims. That's terrible!
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.
Finally, president looks up and asks:
- How many is a brazillion? ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 11 October 2005


Statement: Senior Citizens Are Valuable!
We are more valuable than any of the younger generations:
- We have silver in our hair.
- We have gold in our teeth.
- We have stones in our kidneys.
- We have lead in our feet and.
- We are loaded with natural gas ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 26 February 2008


An American tourist in London found himself needing to take a leak, something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up.
"Look here, old chap, what are you doing?" the officer asked."
"I'm sorry," the American ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004


Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long hair, wearing a white robe, and sandals, holding a staff.

President Bush went up to the man and said, "Aren't you Moses?" The man never answered but just kept staring straight ahead. Again the President said, "Moses!" in a loud voice. The man just kept staring ahead, never ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 5 April 2005


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 1 May 2009


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I though you just said it was nine-one-one.
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 April 2007


From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 2 November 2004


WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 30 May 2010


Amazingly simple home remedies: <br>1.
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to
hold the vegetables while you chop.
<br>2. Avoid arguments with the females
about lifting ...Amazingly simple home remedies:
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 9 November 2008


A blonde at the grocery store:
- I would like 4 tomatoes, 4 potatoes and 4 onions.
- I can help you with the tomatoes and the potatoes, but not with the onions...
- Ok... than I'll have 2 tomatoes, 2 potatoes and 2 onions.
- I see you don't understand me: I have tomatoes, I have potatoes, but I have no onions.
- I see... then I'll have a tomato, a potato and an onion.
- Ok, let's do this ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Saturday, 14 July 2007


A man called 911 and said, "Someone come quick! My wife fell asleep on the couch with her mouth open and a mouse ran down her throat!"

The operator replied, "Calm down, sir. Wave a piece of cheese over her mouth and maybe the mouse will come out. An ambulance is on the way."

When the ambulance arrived, the EMT found the man waving a fish over his wife's mouth.

"What on earth are you ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 August 2008


An old mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to the bed.
- You lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me.
- But grandpa, I really don't like guns. Howzabout you leava me your rolex watch instead?
- Shuddup and lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business, you gonna have a beautifulla wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 17 October 2005


Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 June 2011


Why did the woman cross the Road?

Never mind that - what I would like to know is what she was doing out of the kitchen, in the first place! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 19 November 2013