On some air bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the...
proposed: 10 Jul 2007
On some air bases, the Air Force is on
one side of the field and civilian
aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the
middle. One day the tower received a
call from an aircraft asking, "What time
is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is
calling?"
The aircraft replied,
"What difference does it make?"
The
tower replied, "It makes a lot of
difference. If it is an American
Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it
is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand
is on the 12 and the little hand is on
the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft,
it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes
to 'Happy Hour.'"
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. So she immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned to a grin, so she moved [...]
previous joke On a sunny morning, William's mother came into her son's room and said, William, it's Sunday. Time to get up! Time to get up and go to church! Get up! From under the covers came mumbles, I [...]
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After school one day, a young
first-grade boy was sitting at the
kitchen table, eating his afternoon
snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the
teacher was asking me today if I have
any brothers or sisters who will be
coming to school."
The boy's mother replied, "That's nice
of her to take such an interest, dear.
What did she say when you told her you
are an only child?"
She just said, "Thank
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 10 March 2008
On some air bases, the Air Force is on
one side of the field and civilian
aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the
middle. One day the tower received a
call from an aircraft asking, "What time
is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference
does it make?"
The tower replied, "It makes a lot of
difference. If it is an American
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 10 July 2007
An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom
that she has missed her period for two
months. Very worried, the mother goes to
the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is
pregnant.
Shouting, crying, the mother says, "Who
did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a
call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops
in front of their house; a mature
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
Students at a school were asked to write
about the harmful effects of oil on
fish.
One 11-year-old wrote, "When my mom
opened a tin of sardines last night, it
was full of oil and all the sardines
were dead."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 4 May 2007
Two cows are conversing in a field. The
first one says to the other, "Have you
heard about this 'mad cow disease' that
is going around?"
The second cow responds, "Yeah, but I'm
not worried about it; I'm an airplane!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 23 July 2008
I am rejecting your rejection
Dear Sir / Madam
Thank you for your letter of 4 September
2003. After careful consideration I
regret to inform you that I am unable to
accept your refusal to offer me
employment with your company. This year
I have been particularly fortunate in
receiving an unusually large number of
rejection letters. With such a varied
and promising field of candidates it is
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 8 March 2005
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and
ordered a couple of drinks. They then
take sandwiches from their briefcases
and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican
approaches them and says, 'Excuse me,
but you cannot eat your own sandwiches
in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and
exchange sandwiches.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 June 2011
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was
moving to a new office, and his staff
was helping transport many of the items.
I sat the display skeleton in the front
of my car, his bony arm across the back
of my seat. I hadn't considered the
drive across town. At one traffic light,
the stares of the people in the car
beside me became obvious, and I looked
across and explained, "I'm delivering
him to my
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 October 2006
"I just don't understand it", an Irish
footballer complained... "One match I
play very well, and then the next match
I'm terrible".
"Well", said his wife, "why don't you
just play every other match?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 30 April 2008
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - - - - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for
the right woman (or at least one who
will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or
Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 21 November 2006
THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl:
"Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and
went fishing, hunting and played golf a
lot and drank beer whenever he wanted.
THE END
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 16 January 2006
FINAL EXAM
The student reports for his university
final examination that consists of
yes/no type questions. He takes his
seat in the examination hall, stares at
the question paper for five minutes and
then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out
a coin and starts tossing it, marking
the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and!
No, for Tails. Within half an hour he
is all done, whereas the rest of the
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004