At a U2 concert in Ireland, Bono (the lead singer) asks the audience for some quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his hands....
proposed: 19 Jun 2007
I went to the cinema the other day and
in the front row was an old man and with
him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind
of film, you know the type. In the sad
part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in
the funny part, the dog laughed its head
off. This happened all the way through
the film. After the film had ended, I
decided to go and speak to the man:
- That's the most amazing thing I've
seen, ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 14 November 2011
When you have an "I hate My Job" day,
On your way home from
work, stop at your pharmacy and go to
the thermometer section and purchase a
rectal thermometer made by Johnson &
Johnson. Be very sure you get this
brand. When you get home, lock your
doors, draw the curtains and disconnect
the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing
and sit in your ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 12 September 2006
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus
stop with their 9 children. A blind man
joins them after a few minutes. When the
bus arrives, they find it overloaded and
only the wife and the 9 kids are able to
fit onto the bus.
husband and the blind man decide to
walk. After a while, the husband gets
irritated by the ticking of the stick of
the blind man as he taps it on the
sidewalk, and says ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 5 October 2006
George Bush is visiting the Queen of
England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how
do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the
most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people.
"Bush frowns. "But how do I know the
people around me are really
The Queen takes a
sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 14 July 2006
Students at a school were asked to write
about the harmful effects of oil on
One 11-year-old wrote, "When
my mom opened a tin of sardines last
night, it was full of oil and all the
sardines were dead." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 4 May 2007
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet
School were receiving theirfirst anatomy
class, with a real dead cow. They all
gathered around the surgery table with
the body covered with a white sheet. The
professor started the class by telling
- In vet medicine it is
necessary to have two important
qualities as a doctor: the first is that
you not be disgusted by anything
involving the animal ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 2 May 2007
An architect, an artist and an engineer
were discussing whether it was better to
spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time
with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with
his mistress, because the passion and
mystery he found there.
said: "I like both. If you have a wife
and a mistress, ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005
Many hymnals have a hymn called "Gladly
the Cross I'd Bear."
that one week when the church secretary
was typing the Sunday
asked the pastor which hymn would come
just before the
sermon. He replied
with the above-mentioned hymn.
The following Sunday the bulletin
Hymn No. 134: "Gladly,
the Cross-eyed Bear." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 16 October 2008
Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush &
Traian Basescu died & went straight to
Queen Elizabeth II said
"I miss Britain, I want to call Britain
and see how everybody is doing there.
She called and talked for about 5
minutes, then her Majesty asked "Well,
Devil how much do I owe you? The devil
replied "Five million dollars" She wrote
him a cheque and went to sit back on her
George ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 27 October 2006
A baby polar bear comes up to his mother
and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?"
"Why, yes, son, of course you are a
polar bear," she replies, sending him
out to play.
later, he returns. "Momma, are you
absolutely sure I am a polar bear?"
"Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go
later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're
sure I'm 100% polar bear?"
"Yes, ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 August 2008
A new store named Husband-Mart opened.
Husband-Mart is a store where women can
go and choose a husband from among many
men. The store is composed of six
floors, and the men increase in positive
attributes as the shopper ascends the
flight of stairs. There is, however, a
catch. AS you open the door to any floor
you may choose a man from that floor,
but if you go up a floor, you cannot go
back down ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 30 November 2004
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student:
- What are your
The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and
my mother's name is Smiling.
- Are you kidding?
The student said:
- No, Kidding
is my brother. I am Joking. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 19 March 2015