A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed, and left for...
proposed by: Dody on date: 2 May 2007
Woman's revenge...
- Cash, check or
charge? I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase.
As she
fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a
remote control for a television set in
her purse.
- So, do you always carry
your TV remote? I asked.
- No, she
replied, but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, and I figured this was
the most evil thing I could do to him
legally.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 7 May 2010
Two women came before wise King Solomon,
dragging between them a young man in a
three-piece suit.
"This young lawyer
agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY
daughter," said the other.
And so
they haggled before the king until he
called for silence.
"Bring me my
biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I
shall hew the young attorney in half.
Each of you shall receive a
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 17 October 2006
A baby polar bear comes up to his mother
and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?"
"Why, yes, son, of course you are a
polar bear," she replies, sending him
out to play.
Several minutes
later, he returns. "Momma, are you
absolutely sure I am a polar bear?"
"Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go
and play."
Several minutes
later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're
sure I'm 100% polar bear?"
"Yes,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 August 2008
I was out walking with my 4 year old
daughter. She picked up something off
the ground and started to put it in her
mouth. I took the item away from her and
I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my
daughter asked. "Because it's been on
the ground, you don't know where it's
been, it'sdirty and probably has germs"
I replied. At this point, my daughter
looked at me with total admiration and
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 22 March 2007
A man walks along a lonely beach.
Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG!
He looks around; nobody's there. "I
am having hallucinations," he thinks.
Then he hears the voice again: I SAID,
DIG!
So he starts to dig in the sand
with his bare hands, and after a bit, he
finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
The deep voice says: OPEN!
OK,
the man thinks, let's open the thing. He
finds a rock with
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 18 April 2008
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - -
- - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am
looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate)
DESIRED
POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 21 November 2006
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your
emergency?
Caller: I heard what
sounded like gunshots coming from the
brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and
slacks, why?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 April 2007
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan
meets him, shows him doors to three
rooms, and says he must choose one spend
eternity in.
In the first room,
people are standing in shit up to their
necks. The guy says "no, let me see the
next room."
In the second room,
people are standing with shit up to
their noses. Guy says no again.
Finally, Satan opens the door to the
third room. People are standing
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006
A father was trying to teach his young
son the evils of alcohol.
He
put one worm in a glass of water and
another worm in a glass of
whiskey.
The worm in the water lived, while the
one in the whiskey
curled up and
died.
"All right, son," asked
the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if
you drink alcohol, you will not have
worms."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 August 2008
A hamster and a rat were sitting on the
side of a swimming pool. They were
enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat
turned to the hamster and asked him:
Dude,
How come people
consider me a noisance, and you a pet?
How come people pay money to have
you, while they are trying to kill me?
How come you are considered a cute
little animal, while I am considered
creepy and disgusting?
How come you
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 September 2004
The Programmer's drinking song:
99 little bugs in the code,
99
bugs in the code,
Fix one bug,
compile it again,
101 little bugs
in the code.
101 little bugs in the
code,
101 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
103 little bugs in the code.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 16 October 2006
There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to
hide evil intentions!
The Team
Leader, busy figuring out what work to
dump on you next...
And, there's
YOU, who struggles with it all!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 22 June 2008