- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words. - The Lord's Prayer: 66 words. - Archimedes' Principle: 67 words. - The 10 Commandments: 179...

A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage and requested: "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?" The marriage officer said: "Your requirements please." "Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 27 August 2007

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 1 May 2009

On some air bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 10 July 2007

A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and Dad shop for me." The daughter nods in agreement. "And I think this fur coat would be perfect too." The daughter protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this." "Don't worry, ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 7 February 2008

Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" the repairman inquired. Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 October 2006

A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but he eventually got back on track and found the place. Having arrived late, the church was already packed. The only pew left was the one on the front row. So as not to make a fool of ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 21 February 2007

A truck driver had to deliver five hundred penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, the truck broke down. After waiting by the side of the road for about three hours, he waved another truck down and offered the driver $500 to take the penguins to the state zoo for him. The next day, the first truck driver arrived in town and saw the second truck driver crossing ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 3 December 2007

A cowboy went to an insurance agency to buy a policy. The agent asked, "Have you ever had an accident?" "Nope," replied the cowboy. "Last summer, a bronc kicked in two of my ribs, and a couple of years ago, a rattlesnake bit me on the ankle." "Wouldn't you call those accidents?" quizzed the puzzled agent. "Naw," the cowboy replied. "They did it on purpose!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 15 November 2006

Woman's revenge... - Cash, check or charge? I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. - So, do you always carry your TV remote? I asked. - No, she replied, but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 7 May 2010

On a sunny morning, William's mother came into her son's room and said, "William, it's Sunday. Time to get up! Time to get up and go to church! Get up!" From under the covers came mumbles, "I don't want to go!" "What do you mean?" she said. "That's silly! Now get up and get dressed and go to church!" "No!" he shot back. "I'll give you two reasons. I don't like them and they don't like ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Saturday, 14 July 2007

Problem: Expand expression (a+b)n See for yourself what solution our student has found. ... Also our teacher's comment, written with red. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 17 August 2006

FINAL EXAM The student reports for his university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and! No, for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done, whereas the rest of the ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004

Jack, who is a smart businessman, talks to his son Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice Son: "I will choose my own bride!" Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter." Son: "Well, in that case..." Next Jack approaches Bill Gates. Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter." Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!" Jack: "But this young man is a vice-president of ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 29 September 2005

To do is to be. Socrate To be is to do. Aristotel Do be do be do. Sinatra ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 19 December 2005

Two mothers are having a conversation about their children one day. - How do you get your Marvin up so early on school mornings? asks Joan. - Oh, that's easy, replies Marianne. I just throw the cat on his bed. - Why does that wake him up? - He sleeps with the dog! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 13 March 2008