Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were...
proposed: 8 Mar 2007
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday.
The
delicious aroma from the grilled venison
steaks was causing such a problem for
the Catholic faithful that they finally
talked to their priest.
The priest
came to visit Bubba and suggested that
he become a Catholic.
After several
classes and much study, Bubba attended
Mass.
The priest sprinkled holy
water over him and said, "You were born
a Baptist and raised as a Baptist, but
now you are Catholic."
Bubba's
neighbors were greatly relieved, until
Friday night arrived and the wonderful
aroma of grilled venison filled the
neighborhood. The priest was called
immediately by the neighbors.
As the
priest rushed into Bubba's yard,
clutching a rosary and prepared to scold
him, he stopped and watched in
amazement.
There stood Bubba,
clutching a small bottle of holy water,
which he carefully sprinkled over the
grilling meat while chanting, "You wuz
born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but
now you are a catfish."
A pickpocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. Mr. Brewster, the judge said, you are hereby found guilty and fined the sum of $150. After consulting with his client, Mr. [...]
previous joke A man visited a psychiatrist to talk about his dreams. Every night, the man said, I dream that these three hideous monsters are sitting on the edge of my bed, ready to attack me. Hmmm, [...]
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Two women came before wise King Solomon,
dragging between them a young man in a
three-piece suit.
"This young lawyer
agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY
daughter," said the other.
And so
they haggled before the king until he
called for silence.
"Bring me my
biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I
shall hew the young attorney in half.
Each of you shall receive a
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 17 October 2006
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and
suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot
of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink
very little red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Americans.
4. The
Italians drink excessive amounts of red
wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.
5. The Germans drink a
lot of beers and eat
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 11 November 2004
FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down
to sleep,
I pray for a man,
who's not a creep,
One who's
handsome, smart and strong
One who
loves to listen long,
One who thinks
before he speaks,
One who'll
call, not wait for weeks.
I pray
he's gainfully employed,
When I
spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my
door,
Massages me back and begs to
do
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 23 August 2005
A linguistics professor was lecturing
his class one day.
- In English, he
said, a double negative forms a
positive. In some languages, though,
such as Romanian, a double negative is
still a negative. However, there is no
language wherein a double positive can
form a negative.
A loud voice from
the back of the room piped up:
-
Yeah, right.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 June 2011
I'm sorry that you haven't
gotten much email from me lately.
It's because I'm tired. For a
couple years I've been blaming it on
iron poor blood, lack of vitamins,
dieting and a dozen other maladies. But
now I found out the real reason. I'm
tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is
237 million. 104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
Headlines from the year 2029:
Ozone created by electric cars now
killing millions in the seventh largest
country in the world, Mexifornia,
formerly known as California. White
minorities still trying to have English
recognized as Mexifornia's third
language.
Spotted Owl plague
threatens northwestern United States
crops and livestock.
Baby
conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 March 2006
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were
waiting one morning for a particularly
slow group of golfers. The engineer
fumed:
- What's with these guys?
We must have been waiting for 15
minutes!
The doctor chimed in:
-
I don't know, but I've never
seen such ineptitude!
The pastor
said:
- Hey, here comes the greens
keeper. Let's have a word with
him.... Hi George! Say, what's
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005
Who's your best friend? Just try this
experiment... Put your dog and your wife
in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really
happy to see you?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 12 March 2008

Amazingly simple home remedies:
1.
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to
hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females
about lifting the toilet seat by using
the sink.
3. For high blood pressure
sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed
for a few minutes, thus reducing the
pressure on your veins. Remember to use
a timer.
4. A mouse
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 9 November 2008

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a
Donkey from a farmer for $100. The
farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the
next day.
The next day he drove
up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some
bad News, the donkey died.' Chuck
replied, 'Well, then just give me my
money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't
do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just
bring me the dead
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 14 October 2008
An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom
that she has missed her period for two
months. Very worried, the mother goes to
the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is
pregnant.
Shouting, crying, the
mother says, "Who did this to you? I
want to know!"
The girl picks up the
phone and makes a call. Half an hour
later a Ferrari stops in front of their
house; a mature
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
-
The Lord's Prayer: 66 words.
-
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
-
The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
-
The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
-
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300
words.
- - - The US Government
regulations on the sale of cabbage:
26,911 words!!! - - -
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 10 April 2007