One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following...
proposed: 30 Jan 2007
One Sunday morning, everyone in a
bright, beautiful, tiny town got up
early and went to the local church.
Before the services started, the
townspeople were sitting in their pews
and talking about their lives, their
appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running
for the front entrance, trampling each
other in a frantic effort to get ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 5 April 2007
Two engineering students were walking
across campus when one said:
did you get such a great bike?
second engineer replied:
- Well, I
was walking along yesterday minding my
own business when a beautiful woman rode
up on this bike. She threw the bike to
the ground, took off all her clothes and
said, "Take what you want."
second engineer nodded approvingly:
- Good choice; the ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005
Late one night, a man walks into a
dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me,
can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist.
You need a psychiatrist."
Dentist: "So why did you
come in here?"
Man: "Well, the light
was on." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 9 May 2007
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of
Caller: I'm trying
to reach nine eleven but my phone
doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I though you just said it
ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are
the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may
be old, but I'm not stupid. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 April 2007
Year 1981 =========
Charles got married
crowned Champions of Europe
Year 2005 =========
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned
Champions of Europe (again)
*** In Future,
Charles wants to re-marry
Liverpool needs another crown. .... POOR
POPE....!! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 23 August 2005
Two mothers are having a conversation
about their children one day.
do you get your Marvin up so early on
school mornings? asks Joan.
that's easy, replies Marianne. I just
throw the cat on his bed.
- Why does
that wake him up?
- He sleeps with
the dog! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 13 March 2008
A few years ago, I decided to visit my
brother who was stationed in Germany. I
assumed that most Germans would speak
English. But I found that many people
spoke only their native tongue -
including the ticket inspector on the
He punched my ticket, then
chatted cordially for a bit, making
gestures like a windmill. I simply
nodded from time to time to show him
that I was interested.
When ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 20 October 2006
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks
into a pharmacy and wanders up & down
The sales girl notices
him and asks him if she can help him. He
answers that he is looking for a box of
tampons for his wife. She directs him
down the correct aisle.
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of
cotton balls and a ball of string on the
She says, confused, 'Sir, I
thought you were ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 30 May 2010
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and
you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 10 November 2004
Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes
That’s not right = Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harbouring a fugitive =
Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP = Kum
4) Stupid Man = Dum Fuk
Small Horse = Tai Ni Po Ni
you go to the beach = Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped the coffee table = Ai
Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you
need a face lift = Chin Tu Fat
It’s Very dark in here = Wai So Dim
10) ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 28 November 2006
A man follows a woman out of a movie
theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He
stops her and says, "I'm sorry to
bother you, but I couldn't help but
notice that your dog was really into the
movie. He cried at the right spots, he
moved nervously in his seat at the
boring parts, but most of all, he
laughed like crazy at the funny parts.
Did you find that unusual?"
she replied, "I found ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
A dog walks into an employment agency
- I'd like to get a job
The guy at the employment
- Wow, you could easily
get a job at the circus, with your
The dog replys:
would the circus want with a plumber? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 19 November 2013
A dog looks at its owner and thinks:
"You feed me, care for me, and love
me...you must be a god!"
A cat looks
at its owner and thinks: "You feed me,
care for me, and love me...I must be a
god!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 17 August 2005