The slave driver of the Roman ship stared down at his slaves and yelled, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that...
proposed: 30 Nov 2006
You Know You Have a Bad Computer When...
10. The lower corner of screen has
the words "Etch A Sketch" on it.
When you insert a disk, it spits out a
pack of cigarettes.
8. You have to
7. The manual contains one
sentence: "Good luck!"
6. The only
chip inside came from a bag of Doritos.
5. When you turn it on, the dogs in
the neighborhood start howling.
You catch a virus from ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 20 August 2007
My sister, a truck driver, had decided
to get a dog for protection. As she
inspected a likely candidate, the
trainer told her, "He doesn't like men."
Perfect, my sister thought, and took the
Then one day, two men in a
parking lot approached her, and she
watched to see how her canine bodyguard
would react. Soon it became clear that
the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men
got closer, the dog ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 June 2007
A man walks into a bar and he's really
pissed. The bartender gives him a drink
and asks what the problem is. All he
- All lawyers are assholes.
A man sitting in the corner shouts:
- I take offense to that!
pissed off guy asks him:
- Why? Are
you a lawyer?
The other replies:
- No, I'm an asshole. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 30 June 2006
An English professor wrote the words :
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his
students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class
"A woman, without her man,
females in the class wrote:
woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004
With a couple celebrating their 50th
anniversary at the church's marriage
marathon, the minister asked Brother
Ralph to take a few minutes and share
some insight into how he managed to live
with the same woman all these years.
The husband replied to the
audience, "Well, I treated her with
respect, spent money on her, but mostly
I took her traveling on special
The minister ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 February 2007
Once upon a time there were two
One brother was very
mischievous, always getting into
The other brother,
however, was very good. He was always
kind to animals, helped elderly
neighbors, and led an exemplary life.
As time went on, the brothers
stayed in touch but were never close.
The evil brother became a heavy
drinker and a womanizer.
other brother was a ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 6 April 2006
A husband and his wife had a bitter
quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
The husband yells,
"When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My
Wife - Cold As Ever'."
she replies, "When you die, I'm
getting you a headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At
Last.'" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 9 June 2005
A big earthquake with the strength of
8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico.
Two million Mexicans have died and over
a million are injured. The country is
totally ruined and the government
doesn't know where to start with asking
for help to rebuild.
The rest of the
world is in shock.
sending troopers to help the Mexican
army control the riots.
Arabia is sending oil.
Other ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 31 May 2006
The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad
to watch a young iraqi play football and
is suitably impressed and arranges him
to come over to Anfield.
weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to
Man Utd with only 20 minutes left. The
manager gives the young Iraqi striker
the nod and on he goes.
is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes
and wins the game for Liverpool.
The fans are delighted, ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 13 February 2006
A school teacher sends this note to all
parents on the first day of school: "If
you promise not to believe everything
your child says happens at school, I'll
promise not to believe everything he
says happens at home." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 27 January 2008
I went to the cinema the other day and
in the front row was an old man and with
him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind
of film, you know the type. In the sad
part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in
the funny part, the dog laughed its head
off. This happened all the way through
the film. After the film had ended, I
decided to go and speak to the man:
- That's the most amazing thing I've
seen, ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 14 November 2011
10 WAYS THE BIBLE WOULD BE DIFFERENT (If
Written By College Students)
10. Last Supper would have been
eaten the next morning - cold.
The Ten Commandments are actually only
five, double-spaced, and written in a
8. New edition every two
years in order to limit reselling.
7. Forbidden fruit would have been
eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
6. Paul's letter to the Romans ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 17 May 2007
A statistician, who refused to fly after
reading of the alarmingly high
probability that there will be a bomb on
any given plane, realized that the
probability of there being two bombs on
any given flight is very low. Now,
whenever he flies, he carries a bomb
with him. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 7 February 2006