Positive Thinking Poem... Little birdy in the sky, You look up and it shits in your eye You don't mind and you don't...
proposed by: Dovy on date: 10 Mar 2006
After school one day, a young
first-grade boy was sitting at the
kitchen table, eating his afternoon
snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the
teacher was asking me today if I have
any brothers or sisters who will be
coming to school."
The boy's mother
replied, "That's nice of her to take
such an interest, dear. What did she say
when you told her you are an only
She just said, "Thank ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 10 March 2008
Late one night, a man walks into a
dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me,
can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist.
You need a psychiatrist."
Dentist: "So why did you
come in here?"
Man: "Well, the light
was on." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 9 May 2007
Robert went to his lawyer and said:
- I would like to make a will, but I
don't know exactly how to go about it.
The lawyer smiled at Robert and
- Not a problem, leave it
all to me.
Robert looked somewhat
upset and said:
- Well, I knew you
were going to take a big portion, but I
would like to leave a little to my
family too! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 June 2011
Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once
taking part in a local tournament. As he
was preparing to tee off, the organizer
of the tournament approached him and
pointed to the dark, threatening storm
clouds that were gathering.
"Preacher," the organizer said, "I
trust you'll see to it that the weather
won't turn bad on us."
shook his head. "Sorry," he replied.
"I'm sales, not management!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 29 October 2008
One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to
pack his own lunch for school. His mom
agreed. But they couldn't agree on what
he should pack, so they both made lists.
This was the mom's list:
A carton of milk
This was Jake's list:
to compromise. Sure enough, the next
morning, Jake was ready for school and
he packed his lunch. ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 12 January 2007
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student:
- What are your
The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and
my mother's name is Smiling.
- Are you kidding?
The student said:
- No, Kidding
is my brother. I am Joking. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 19 March 2015
A young man married a beautiful woman
who had previously divorced ten
husbands. She told her new husband,
"Please be gentle with me, as for me
it's the first time."
the puzzled groom. "How can that be if
you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales
Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be."
#2 was in Software Services; he was
never ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 2 August 2006
A simple friend, when visiting, acts
like a guest.
A real friend opens
your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen
A real friend has shoulders
soggy from your tears.
friend doesn't know your
friend has their phone numbers in his
A simple friend
brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 5 May 2005
Five Jews changed the way you see the
- Moses: The Law is
- Jesus: Love is
- Marx: Money is
- Freud: Sex is
- Einstein: Everything
is relative. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 14 February 2005
A Polish man moved to the USA and
married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got
along very well until one day he rushed
into a lawyer's office and asked him if
he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a
divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the
- Have you any
- Yes, an acre and half and ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 16 January 2007
You are driving along in your car on a
wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus
stop, and you see three people waiting
for the bus:
1. An old lady who
looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you
have been dreaming about.
would you choose to offer a ride to,
knowing that there could only be one
passenger in your car. ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 16 May 2005
The slave driver of the Roman ship
stared down at his slaves and yelled,
"I've got good news and bad news. The
good news is that you'll be getting
double rations tonight."
mumbling of the happy slaves was
interrupted by the bellowing of the
"The bad news is that
the commander's son wants to water ski
tomorrow morning." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 30 November 2006
The Pope is visiting Washington, D.C.,
and President Bush takes him out for an
afternoon on the Potomac, cruising on
the Presidential yacht, the Sequoia.
They're admiring the sights when, all of
a sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto)
blows off his head and out into the
Secret Service guys start to
launch a boat, but President Bush waves
them off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take
care of this. ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 28 July 2006
Friends of women:
A wife was
not at home for a whole night. So she
tells her husband, the very next
morning, that she stayed at her
girlfriend's apartment over night.
So the husband calls 10 of her best
girlfriends and none of them confirm
Friends of men:
A husband was not at home for a
whole night. So he tells his wife the
very next morning, that he stayed at his
friend's ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 28 September 2004