A statistician, who refused to fly after reading of the alarmingly high probability that there will be a bomb on any given plane,...
proposed: 7 Feb 2006
A simple friend, when visiting, acts
like a guest.
A real friend opens
your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen
A real friend has shoulders
soggy from your tears.
friend doesn't know your
friend has their phone numbers in his
A simple friend
brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 5 May 2005
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over
his dining room, so he called a
repairman to take a look at it. "When
did you first notice the leak?" the
scowled. "Last night, when it took me
two hours to finish my soup!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 October 2006
The man told his doctor that he wasn't
able to do all the things around the
house that he used to do. When the
examination was complete, he said:
Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in
plain English what is wrong with me.
- Well, in plain English, the doctor
replied, you're just lazy.
said the man. Now give me the medical
term so I can tell my wife. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 June 2011
A husband read an article to
his wife about how many words women use
a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
wife replied, 'The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything to
The husband then turned to
his wife and asked, 'What?' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 30 May 2010
A man called home to his wife and said,
"Honey I have been asked to go
fishing up in Canada with my boss &
several of his friends. We'll be
gone for a week. This is a good
opportunity for me to get that promotion
I've been wanting so could you
please pack enough clothes for a week
and set out my rod and fishing box?
We're leaving from the office & I
will swing by the house to pick ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
Thirty lines to make you smile.
1.. My husband and I divorced over
religious differences. He thought he was
God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer
from insanity; I enjoy every minute of
3.. I Work Hard Because Millions
On Welfare Depend on Me!
people are alive only because it's
illegal to kill them.
5.. I used to
have a handle on life, but it broke.
6.. Don't take life too ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 15 February 2006
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your
Caller: I heard what
sounded like gunshots coming from the
brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and
slacks, why? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 April 2007
An architect, an artist and an engineer
were discussing whether it was better to
spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time
with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with
his mistress, because the passion and
mystery he found there.
said: "I like both. If you have a wife
and a mistress, ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005
A Chinese couple got married. When a
baby girl was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde,
skin was brown. Finally, the father
named the baby SUM TING RONG." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 September 2006
A man visited a psychiatrist to talk
about his dreams.
"Every night," the
man said, "I dream that these three
hideous monsters are sitting on the edge
of my bed, ready to attack me."
"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel
sure I can cure you of this problem. But
the treatment will cost you somewhere
between twenty-five and thirty thousand
"Thirty thousand dollars!"
the man gasped. "Never ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 9 March 2007
Before I lay me down
I pray for a man,
who's not a creep,
handsome, smart and strong
loves to listen long,
One who thinks
before he speaks,
call, not wait for weeks.
he's gainfully employed,
spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my
Massages me back and begs to
do ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 23 August 2005
Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when
he asks the audience for some quiet.
Then, in the silence, he starts to
slowly clap his hands.
He says into
the microphone, in a deep solemn
"Just for a moment, think
outside yourself... Outside this
arena... Every time I clap my hands, a
child in Africa dies."
A loud Irish
voice from near the front pierces the
"Well, ya ****** ****, ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 27 October 2006
A boy who was a witness to a crime was
called to testify in court. He was
approached by the defense attorney who
asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say
"Yes, sir," answered the
"I thought so," said the
attorney. "Who was it?"
"And what did he tell you?"
the attorney asked accusingly.
said that the lawyers would try to get
me all tangled up, but if I ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 13 November 2006
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE
Put about 100 bricks in
some particular order in a closed room
with an open window. Then send 2 or 3
candidates in the room and close the
door. Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyses the
If they are counting
the bricks. Put them in the accounts
If they are
recounting them. Put them in ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 10 March 2006