A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs: - Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him. - Now, now,. ..her...

Joke from category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

proposed: 12 Apr 2005

A new young bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs:
- Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him.
- Now, now,. ..her mother comforted, I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.
- No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!
- Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate! says her mom. Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars.
- No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket.
- Airplane ticket? What did you need an airplane ticket for?
- Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said: "Prepare from a frozen state", so I flew to Alaska.

1. Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month. 2. Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby. 3. Onsite Coordinator is [...]
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Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. Education is [...]
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A real estate agent had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water.

"That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?"

"Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 November 2006


3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story

This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004


Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes....... ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004


Thoughts from USA...

(1) Zero Gravity
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 10 March 2006


Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names. She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in language that ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 20 February 2007


Drug-dealers vs software developers.

Drug dealers - Refer to their clients as "users".
Software developers - Refer to their clients as "users".

Drug dealers - "The first one's free!"
Software developers - "Download a free trial version..."

Drug dealers - Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff).
Software developers - Have important South-East Asian ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 28 April 2006


1. Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.
2. Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
3. Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks a single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4. Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 April 2005


See if you can do this. Read each line aloud.

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word
in each line from the top.
Betcha you can't resist passing it on. LOL! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 21 November 2011


Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their 9 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the 9 kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 5 October 2006


A school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 27 January 2008


Hung Chow calls work and says:
- Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I no come work.
The boss says:
- You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like that I go to my wife and tell her to sing for me. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that.
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again:
- Boss, I do what you say ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 16 March 2005


Dear God: My prayer for Next Year is for a fat bank account & a thin body.
Please don't mix these up like you did last year.
Thank you so much! Happy New Year! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 17 January 2011


WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 30 May 2010


"In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed; they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance.
In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!"
Orson Welles ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 16 May 2005


A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat.
"This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and Dad shop for me." The daughter nods in agreement. "And I think this fur coat would be perfect too."
The daughter protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this."
"Don't worry, ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 7 February 2008