A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs: - Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him. - Now, now,. ..her...
proposed: 12 Apr 2005
A new young bride calls her mother in
tears. 1. Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month. 2. Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby. 3. Onsite Coordinator is [...]
doesn't appreciate what I do for him.
- Now, now,. ..her mother comforted,
I am sure it was all just a
- No, mother, you
don't understand. I bought a frozen
turkey roll and he yelled and screamed
at me about the price!
- Well, the
nerve of that lousy cheapskate! says her
mom. Those turkey rolls are only a few
- No, mother it wasn't the
price of the turkey, it was the airplane
- Airplane ticket? What did
you need an airplane ticket for?
Well mother, when I went to fix it, I
looked at the directions on the package
and it said: "Prepare from a frozen
state", so I flew to Alaska.
previous joke Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. Education is [...]
When the new patient was settled
comfortably on the couch, the
psychiatrist began his therapy session.
"I'm not aware of your problem," the
doctor said. "So perhaps, you should
start at the very beginning."
course," replied the patient. "In the
beginning, I created the heavens and the
earth..." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 19 July 2007
A wife asked her husband: "What do you
like most in me, my pretty face or my
He looked at her from
head to toes and replied after a pause:
"I like your sense of humor!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 10 January 2005
The graduate with a Science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"
with an Engineering degree asks, "How
does it work?"
The graduate with an
Accounting degree asks, "How much will
The graduate with an Arts
degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005
The truth about working in the IT
1. We work weird
2. They pay you to
make the client happy...
client pays a lot of money, but your
employer keeps almost every penny...
4. You are rewarded for fulfilling
the client's dreams...
friends fall apart and you end up
hanging out with people in the same
profession as you...
6. When you
have to meet the ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 27 November 2006
TEACHER: George Washington not only
chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you
know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the
axe in his hand. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 1 May 2009
The Programmer's drinking song:
99 little bugs in the code,
bugs in the code,
Fix one bug,
compile it again,
101 little bugs
in the code.
101 little bugs in the
101 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
103 little bugs in the code. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 16 October 2006
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - -
- - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
SEX: Not lately, but I am
looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate)
POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 21 November 2006
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. Being a typical
lawyer, he thinks he is smarter than the
Cop so he decides to have some fun at
the Cop's expense.
License and registration, please.
- What for?
- You didn't come to a
complete stop at the stop sign.
- I slowed down,
and no one was coming.
- Exactly! License ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 22 November 2005
A Czech goes to the optician who shows
him a card with the letters 'C Z W X
N Q S T A C Z'.
"Can you read
this?" the optician asks.
it?" the Czech replies, "I even know the
guy." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004
School: Define The Following Terms
Antibody: Against everyone.
Artery: The study of fine paintings.
Bacteria: Back door to a cafeteria.
Benign: What you've been after
Cardiology: Advance study of
Cat Scan: Searching
for lost kitty.
Chronic: Neck of a
Coma: Punctuation mark.
Cyst: Short of sister.
Diagnosis: Person with slanted nose.
Dislocation: In ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 2 March 2005
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the
river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his
clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan
A: The animals told
him. Your tail is in front". ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 February 2007
There is an old story about a mother who
walks in on her six-year-old son and
finds him sobbing. "What's the matter?"
"I've just figured out how
to tie my shoes."
that's wonderful." Being a wise mother,
she recognizes his victory in the
Eriksonian struggle of autonomy versus
doubt: "You're growing up, but why are
"Because," he says,
"now I'll have to do it ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 20 April 2007
On a sunny morning, William's mother
came into her son's room and said,
"William, it's Sunday. Time to get up!
Time to get up and go to church! Get
From under the covers came
mumbles, "I don't want to go!"
do you mean?" she said. "That's silly!
Now get up and get dressed and go to
"No!" he shot back. "I'll
give you two reasons. I don't like them
and they don't like ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Saturday, 14 July 2007