An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said: - If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful...
Joke from category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
proposed: 31 Mar 2005
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said:
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A truck driver had to deliver five hundred penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, the truck broke down. After waiting by the side of the road for about three hours, he waved another truck down and offered the driver $500 to take the penguins to the state zoo for him. The next day, the first truck driver arrived in town and saw the second truck driver crossing ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 3 December 2007
A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 2 October 2006
Once upon a time there were two brothers. One brother was very mischievous, always getting into trouble. The other brother, however, was very good. He was always kind to animals, helped elderly neighbors, and led an exemplary life. As time went on, the brothers stayed in touch but were never close. The evil brother became a heavy drinker and a womanizer. The other brother was a devoted ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 6 April 2006
Some lines: 1. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 2. On the other hand, it's better to have fingers than toes. 3. A day without sunshine is like. .. night! 4. How many of you believe in psycho-kenisis? Raise my hand. 5. Everyone has a photographic memory, but some don't have any film. 6. When everything is coming your way. .. you're in the wrong lane. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 17 August 2006
A woman goes into a department store and tells the salesman she wants a pair of pink curtains. He assures her they have a good selection of pink curtains. He shows her many kinds and different fabrics of curtains she finally picks out a pink floral pattern. The salesman asks, "What size do you need?" She says, "15 inch." He exclaims, "15 INCHES! What room are they for?" She says, "It's not for a ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 24 November 2005
A man visited a psychiatrist to talk about his dreams. "Every night," the man said, "I dream that these three hideous monsters are sitting on the edge of my bed, ready to attack me." "Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel sure I can cure you of this problem. But the treatment will cost you somewhere between twenty-five and thirty thousand dollars." "Thirty thousand dollars!" the man gasped. "Never mind ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 9 March 2007
My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said: - I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it! I replied: - Aren't you talking on it!? There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in - followed by: - You are NOT going to tell anybody ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 1 February 2008
Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once
taking part in a local tournament. As he
was preparing to tee off, the organizer
of the tournament approached him and
pointed to the dark, threatening storm
clouds that were gathering.
"Preacher," the organizer said, "I trust
you'll see to it that the weather won't
turn bad on us."
Our pastor shook his head. "Sorry," he
replied. "I'm sales, not management!" ... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 29 October 2008
A baby polar bear comes up to his mother and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?" "Why, yes, son, of course you are a polar bear," she replies, sending him out to play. Several minutes later, he returns. "Momma, are you absolutely sure I am a polar bear?" "Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go and play." Several minutes later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're sure I'm 100% polar bear?" "Yes, son, ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 August 2008
WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 30 May 2010
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 April 2007
My sister, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." Perfect, my sister thought, and took the dog. Then one day, two men in a parking lot approached her, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 June 2007
European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 5 April 2006
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find
North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who
discovered America?
CLASS: Maria. ... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 26 November 2008
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he is allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006