When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady near a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was...
proposed: 24 Feb 2005
An engineer was crossing a road one-day
when a frog called out to him and said:
- If you kiss me, I'll turn into a
beautiful princess.
He bent over, picked up the frog and put
it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said:
- If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will stay with you
for one week.
The engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it and returned
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005
A new young bride calls her mother in
tears.
She sobs:
- Robert doesn't appreciate what I
do for him.
- Now, now,. ..her mother comforted, I
am sure it was all just a
misunderstanding.
- No, mother, you don't understand.
I bought a frozen turkey roll and he
yelled and screamed at me about the
price!
- Well, the nerve of that lousy
cheapskate! says her mom. Those turkey
rolls are only a
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 12 April 2005
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met
her at the gates and said:
- You have been a good cat all these
years. Anything you want is yours for
the asking.
The cat thought for a minute and then
said:
- All my life I lived on a farm and
slept on hard wooden floors. I would
like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.
God said:
- Say no more.
Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy
pillow.
A few days later,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 30 March 2005
Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking
the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign
says you're open 24 hours." He goes:
"Not in a row!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006
On some air bases, the Air Force is on
one side of the field and civilian
aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the
middle. One day the tower received a
call from an aircraft asking, "What time
is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference
does it make?"
The tower replied, "It makes a lot of
difference. If it is an American
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 10 July 2007
Robert went to his lawyer and said:
- I would like to make a will, but I
don't know exactly how to go about it.
The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied:
- Not a problem, leave it all to me.
Robert looked somewhat upset and said:
- Well, I knew you were going to take a
big portion, but I would like to leave a
little to my family too!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 June 2011
All eyes were on the radiant bride as
her father escorted her down the aisle.
They reached the altar and the waiting
groom; the bride kissed her father and
placed something in his hand. The guests
in the front pews, and the minister,
responded with ripples of laughter. As
her father gave her away in marriage,
the bride had given him back his credit
card.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 28 November 2006
Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work
for a chat.
"I'm sorry dear," said Bill, "but I'm up
to my neck in work today. I don't have
time to chat."
Sally replied, "But I've got some good
news and some bad news for you, dear."
"OK, darling," said Bill, "but as I've
got no time right now, just give me the
good news."
"OK," agreed Sally. "Well, the air bag
works!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 7 August 2008
A baby polar bear comes up to his mother
and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?"
"Why, yes, son, of course you are a
polar bear," she replies, sending him
out to play.
Several minutes later, he returns.
"Momma, are you absolutely sure I am a
polar bear?"
"Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go and
play."
Several minutes later, he returns
asking, "Momma, you're sure I'm 100%
polar bear?"
"Yes, son,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 August 2008
I recall a time when my son was about 18
months old. I had him strapped into a
backpack and was rushing to catch the
bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell
down an entire flight of stairs (13 to
be exact). I was bruised and bleeding
and had torn my jeans ... but my main
concern was, naturally, for my child.
My fears were alleviated, though, when
from behind me I heard a gleeful giggle
followed
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 August 2008
A dog walks into an employment agency
and says:
- I'd like to get a job please.
The guy at the employment agency says:
- Wow, you could easily get a job at the
circus, with your talents!
The dog replys:
- What would the circus want with a
plumber?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 19 November 2013
After school one day, a young
first-grade boy was sitting at the
kitchen table, eating his afternoon
snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the
teacher was asking me today if I have
any brothers or sisters who will be
coming to school."
The boy's mother replied, "That's nice
of her to take such an interest, dear.
What did she say when you told her you
are an only child?"
She just said, "Thank
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 10 March 2008
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - - - - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for
the right woman (or at least one who
will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or
Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 21 November 2006