When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his...
proposed: 6 Mar 2009
When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire
from public life, the British ambassador
and his wife threw a gala dinner party
in his honor. At the dinner table, the
Ambassador’s wife was talking with
Madame deGaulle:
- Your husband has
been such a prominent public figure,
such a presence on the French and
international scene for so many years!
How quiet retirement will seem in
comparison. What are you most looking
forward to in these retirement years?
- A penis, replied Madame deGaulle.
A huge hush fell over the table.
Everyone heard her answer... and no one
knew what to say next. Le Grand Charles
leaned over to his wife and said:
-
Ma cherie, I believe ze English
pronounce zat word, "appiness"!
A couple had only been married for two
weeks and the husband, although very
much in love, couldn't wait to go out on
the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife,
"Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where
are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the
wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty
Face," he answered. I'm going to have a
beer."
The wife said, "You want a
beer, my love?" She
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 August 2007
Late one night, a man walks into a
dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me,
can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist.
You need a psychiatrist."
Man: "Yes,
I know."
Dentist: "So why did you
come in here?"
Man: "Well, the light
was on."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 9 May 2007
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and
you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 10 November 2004
A new young bride calls her mother in
tears.
She sobs:
- Robert
doesn't appreciate what I do for
him.
- Now, now,. ..her mother
comforted, I am sure it was all just a
misunderstanding.
- No, mother, you
don't understand. I bought a frozen
turkey roll and he yelled and screamed
at me about the price!
- Well, the
nerve of that lousy cheapskate! says her
mom. Those turkey rolls are only
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 12 April 2005
Stephen Spielberg is casting for a new
film based around the great composers.
Anyway to give the film a twist and some
"oomph" he decides to cast the parts to
the great action heroes of today. He
calls Stallone, Arnie, Bruce Willis and
Seagal into his office to hear who they
would like to play.
- Well, started
Stallone, I've always admired Mozart. I
would love to play him.
- Chopin has
always
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 23 November 2005
Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the
buds on my father's young peach tree for
two years in a row. This spring, Dad was
ready. He replanted the sapling in a
large box, mounted it on wheels, and put
the tree in the garage whenever the
temperature dropped.
One warm April
day, Dad was wheeling the tree out into
the yard, and he stopped to give our dog
a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 14 June 2007
"I just don't understand it", an Irish
footballer complained... "One match I
play very well, and then the next match
I'm terrible".
"Well", said his
wife, "why don't you just play every
other match?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 30 April 2008
My sister, a truck driver, had decided
to get a dog for protection. As she
inspected a likely candidate, the
trainer told her, "He doesn't like men."
Perfect, my sister thought, and took the
dog.
Then one day, two men in a
parking lot approached her, and she
watched to see how her canine bodyguard
would react. Soon it became clear that
the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men
got closer, the dog
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 June 2007
At a U2 concert in Ireland, Bono (the
lead singer) asks the audience for some
quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his
hands. Holding the audience in total
silence, he says into the microphone...
"I want you to think about
something. Every time I clap my hands, a
child in Africa dies."
A voice from
the front of the audience yells out...
"Then ****** stop clapping, ya
********!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 19 June 2007
One spelling mistake can destroy your
life!
A husband wrote a message to
his wife on his business trip and forgot
to
add 'e' at the end of a word...
"I am having such a wonderful time!
I wish you were her..."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 7 April 2011