This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the...
proposed by: Sorin on date: 28 Jan 2009
This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
format:
"Q. What is an Economic
Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money
that the federal government will send to
taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the
government get this money?
"A. From
taxpayers.
"Q. So the
government is giving me back my own
money?
"A. No, they are borrowing it
from China. Your children are expected
to repay the Chinese.
"Q. What
is the purpose of this payment?
"A.
The plan is that you will use the money
to purchase a high-definition TV set,
thus stimulating the economy.
"Q. But isn't that stimulating the
economy of China?
"A. Shut up."
This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
format:
"Q. What is an Economic
Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money
that the federal government will send to
taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the
government get this money?
"A. From
taxpayers.
"Q. So the
government is giving me back my own
money?
"A. No,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over
his dining room, so he called a
repairman to take a look at it. "When
did you first notice the leak?" the
repairman inquired.
Mr. Gable
scowled. "Last night, when it took me
two hours to finish my soup!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 October 2006
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S
PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to
understand women.
I'll never
understand how you can take boiling hot
wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip
the hair out by the root, and still be
afraid of a spider.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 13 May 2010
Manning the computer help desk for the
local school district was my first job.
And though I was just an intern, I took
the job very seriously. But not every
caller took me seriously.
- Can I
talk to a real person? a caller asked.
- I am real, I said.
- Oh, I'm
sorry, the caller said. That was rude of
me. What I meant to say was, could I
talk to someone who actually knows
something?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 14 March 2008
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert,
moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a
pair of authentic cowboy boots, so,
seeing some on sale, he bought them and
wore them home.
Walking proudly, he
sauntered into the kitchen and said to
his wife, "Notice anything different
about me?"
Margaret looked him
over.. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert
stormed off into the bathroom, undressed
and walked back into the
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 27 January 2009
A mother and a daughter are shopping in
the mall, when the mother eyes an
expensive fur coat.
"This year," she
says, "I think that I will buy my
present instead of making you and Dad
shop for me." The daughter nods in
agreement. "And I think this fur coat
would be perfect too."
The daughter
protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor
creature has to suffer so that you can
have this."
"Don't worry,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 7 February 2008
A dog looks at its owner and thinks:
"You feed me, care for me, and love
me...you must be a god!"
A cat looks
at its owner and thinks: "You feed me,
care for me, and love me...I must be a
god!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 17 August 2005
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and
ordered a couple of drinks. They then
take sandwiches from their briefcases
and began to eat.
Seeing this, the
angry publican approaches them and says,
'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own
sandwiches in here!'
The two look at
each other, shrug and exchange
sandwiches.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 June 2011
- Bless me Father, for I have sinned
with a woman.
The priest asks, "Is
that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
-
Yes, Father, it is.
- And who was
the woman you were with?
- I can't
tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin
her reputation.
- Well, Johnny, I'm
sure to find out her name sooner or
later, so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?
- I cannot say.
- Was it Teresa Volpe?
-
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 6 October 2006
An English professor wrote the words :
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his
students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class
wrote:
"A woman, without her man,
is nothing."
All the
females in the class wrote:
"A
woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004
Sweetheart:
I can't send my
salary this month, so I am sending 100
kisses. You are my sweetheart.
Your husband,
Allen
...
His wife replied back after some
days to her husband:
Dearest
sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100
kisses, I am sending the expenses
details:
1. The Milk man agreed on 2
kisses for one month's milk.
2.
The electricity man only agreed after 7
kisses.
3.
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 13 September 2005