Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going...
proposed by: Ale on date: 23 Jul 2008
Two cows are conversing in a field. The
first one says to the other, "Have you
heard about this 'mad cow disease' that
is going around?"
The second cow
responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried
about it; I'm an airplane!"
My grandmother is a computer geek. She
also has trouble remembering quickly
sometimes. One day she couldn't think of
what she wanted to tell us.
Mom
explained, "Your grandma is trying to
retrieve the information, but it is
taking awhile. Evidently she hasn't
defragmented her hard drive lately."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 8 October 2007
A boy who was a witness to a crime was
called to testify in court. He was
approached by the defense attorney who
asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say
in court?"
"Yes, sir," answered the
boy.
"I thought so," said the
attorney. "Who was it?"
"My father,
sir."
"And what did he tell you?"
the attorney asked accusingly.
"He
said that the lawyers would try to get
me all tangled up, but if I
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 13 November 2006
Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the
buds on my father's young peach tree for
two years in a row. This spring, Dad was
ready. He replanted the sapling in a
large box, mounted it on wheels, and put
the tree in the garage whenever the
temperature dropped.
One warm April
day, Dad was wheeling the tree out into
the yard, and he stopped to give our dog
a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 14 June 2007
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg
aplicatiile si programele.
COUNT DOWN......
20.
"That's weird..."
19. "It's never
done that before."
18. "It worked
yesterday."
17. "How is that
possible?"
16. "It must be a
hardware problem."
15. "What did you
type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in
your data."
13. "I haven't touched
that module in weeks!"
12.
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 28 November 2006
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence
starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say,
'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am
the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 26 November 2008
A ragged individual stranded for several
months on a small desert island in the
middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a
bottle lying in the sand with a piece of
paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he
pulled out the cork and with shaking
hands withdrew the message.
"Due to
lack of maintenance," he read, "we
regretfully have found it necessary to
cancel your e-mail account."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 23 May 2007
I am passing this on to you because it
definitely worked for me and we all
could use more calm in our lives. By
following the simple advice I heard on a
Dr. Phil show, I have finally found
inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The
way to achieve inner peace is to finish
all the things you've started." So I
looked around my house to see all the
things I started and hadn't
finished, and before
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 30 May 2005
1. There's always a lot to be
thankful for if you take time to look
for it. For example, I am sitting here
thinking how nice it is that wrinkles
don't hurt.
2. The easiest
way to find something lost around the
house is to buy a replacement.
3. You don't stop laughing
because you grow old. You grow old
because you stop laughing.
4. A
penny saved is a government
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 30 May 2005
Q: What's the difference between biology
and sociology?
A: When the baby
looks like his dad or mom, then it is
biology. When the baby looks like the
neighbour, then it is sociology.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 February 2007
A clergyman, walking down a country
lane, saw a young farmer struggling to
load hay back onto a cart after it had
fallen off.
- You look tired, my
son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest
a moment, and I'll give you a hand.
- No thanks, said the young man. My
father wouldn't approve.
- Don't be
silly, the minister said. Everyone is
entitled to a break. Come and have a
drink of water.
Again
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 3 May 2007