An engineer was crossing a road one-day
when a frog called out to him and said:
- If you kiss me, I'll turn into a
beautiful princess. He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his
pocket. The frog spoke up again and
said: - If you kiss me and turn me
back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one week. The
engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it and returned it to
the pocket. The frog then cried out:
- If you kiss me and turn me back
into a princess, I'll stay with you and
do ANYTHING you want. Again the
engineer took the frog out, smiled at it
and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked: - What
is the [...] citește tot
- Bless me Father, for I have sinned
with a woman. The priest asks, "Is
that you, little Johnny Parisi?" -
Yes, Father, it is. - And who was
the woman you were with? - I can't
tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin
her reputation. - Well, Johnny, I'm
sure to find out her name sooner or
later, so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti? - I cannot say.
- Was it Teresa Volpe? - I'll
never tell. - Was it Nina Capelli?
- I'm sorry but I cannot name her.
- Was it Cathy Piriano? - My
lips are sealed. - Was it Rosa Di
Angelo, then? - Please, Father, I
cannot tell you. The priest sighs
in frustration. - You're very [...] citește tot
A man is waiting in line for a hit
movie. Behind him are two women. The
usher comes along and says that he has
two seats together. Seeing the problem,
the usher says to the man, "Let them go
first. You wouldn't want to separate a
woman from her mother, would you?"
The man says, "No, sir. I did that
once, and I've been sorry ever since." : : deschide bancul
A father was trying to teach his young
son the evils of alcohol.
He
put one worm in a glass of water and
another worm in a glass of whiskey.
The worm in the water lived, while the
one in the whiskey curled up and
died.
"All right, son," asked
the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if
you drink alcohol, you will not have
worms." : : deschide bancul
A man visited a psychiatrist to talk
about his dreams. "Every night," the
man said, "I dream that these three
hideous monsters are sitting on the edge
of my bed, ready to attack me."
"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel
sure I can cure you of this problem. But
the treatment will cost you somewhere
between twenty-five and thirty thousand
dollars." "Thirty thousand dollars!"
the man gasped. "Never mind getting rid
of the monsters, Doctor. I think I'll go
home and try to make friends with them!" : : deschide bancul
One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to
pack his own lunch for school. His mom
agreed. But they couldn't agree on what
he should pack, so they both made lists.
This was the mom's list:
One sandwich One apple
Pretzels A carton of milk
This was Jake's list: Candy
Candy Candy
Jake agreed
to compromise. Sure enough, the next
morning, Jake was ready for school and
he packed his lunch. His mom came to
check his lunch, and this is what he
had:
An ice cream sandwich
A caramel apple White
chocolate-covered pretzels with
sprinkles on top A carton of Nesquik
chocolate milk And a bag of candy,
of course, for dessert. : : deschide bancul
A crew of highway maintenance workers
was sent to repair some road signs that
vandals had knocked down in a forested
area. The first one they put back up was
a symbol warning of a deer crossing.
As they moved down the road to
repair the next sign, one crew member
looked back and spotted a deer running
across the highway. She turned to a
co-worker and said, "I wonder how long
he's been waiting to cross?" : : deschide bancul
WORDS A husband read an article to
his wife about how many words women use
a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The
wife replied, 'The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything to
men... The husband then turned to
his wife and asked, 'What?' : : deschide bancul
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently
received a "Dear John" letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as
follows:
Dear Ricky, I can
no longer continue our relationship. The
distance between us is just too great. I
must admit that I have cheated on you
twice, since you've been gone, and it's
not fair to either of us. I'm sorry.
Please return the picture of me that
I sent to you. Love,
Becky..............
The
soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his
fellow soldiers for any snapshots they
could spare of their girlfriends,
sisters or ex-girlfriends. In addition
to the picture of Becky, Ricky included
all the other pictures of the pretty
gals he had collected from [...] citește tot