Friends of women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. So the husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.

Friends of men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night and another 5 are claiming that he is still with them. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 28 Septembrie 2004
Nota 8.9 din 57 voturi

Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor.
"I'm here to do my postnatal exercises."
The instructor gave me an appraising look. "How old is your baby?"
"Twenty-six," I replied. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 13 Februarie 2008
Nota 8.9 din 14 voturi

Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar.

One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like him.

“Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?”

“Well, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was veeery hot. And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said ‘two PICKets to TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in the face. How about you? How’d you get yours?”

“Something similar actually! I was just having dinner with my wife, and what I MEANT to say was, ‘Honey, can you please pass the salt?’ But I slipped up and said “You, you, you ruined [...] citește tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 24 August 2008
Nota 8.9 din 13 voturi

I am not sure exactly how this works, but this is amazingly accurate.
The picture below has two identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and later at Fletcher Medical Center in Burlington.
Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress will find many differences between the two dolphins.
The more differences a person finds, the more stress that person is experiencing.
Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may need to take a [...] citește tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 25 Martie 2008
Nota 8.9 din 21 voturi : : Comentarii: 2

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
- In English, he said, a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Romanian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up:
- Yeah, right. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 8 Iunie 2011
Nota 8.9 din 9 voturi

A soldier stationed in Iraq recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry.
Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky..............

The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from [...] citește tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 10 Iunie 2005
Nota 8.9 din 21 voturi

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?" : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 2 Februarie 2006
Nota 8.8 din 12 voturi

A hamster and a rat were sitting on the side of a swimming pool. They were enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat turned to the hamster and asked him:
Dude,

How come people consider me a noisance, and you a pet?
How come people pay money to have you, while they are trying to kill me?
How come you are considered a cute little animal, while I am considered creepy and disgusting?
How come you live in a warm home, and I have to stay in the sewer?

So the hamster answered: "It is branding, dude." : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 8 Septembrie 2004
Nota 8.8 din 12 voturi

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 1 Mai 2009
Nota 8.8 din 17 voturi

Subject on a math test...
Solve the problem: find x on the triangle.
Answer: see for yourself!! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 3 Octombrie 2005
Nota 8.8 din 20 voturi