Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when
he asks the audience for some quiet.
Then, in the silence, he starts to
slowly clap his hands. He says into
the microphone, in a deep solemn
voice... "Just for a moment, think
outside yourself... Outside this
arena... Every time I clap my hands, a
child in Africa dies." A loud Irish
voice from near the front pierces the
moment... "Well, ya ****** ****,
stop yer ******** clappin', then!" : : deschide bancul
This is classic - a true story,
proving how fascinating is the mind of a
six year old. They think so logically.
A teacher was reading the story
of the Three Little Pigs to her class.
She came to the part of the story where
the first pig was trying to gather the
building materials for his home. She
read, "...and so the pig went up to the
man with the wheelbarrow full of straw
and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have
some of that straw to build my house?"
The teacher paused then asked the
class: " And what do you think the
man said?" One little boy raised his
hand and said very matter of factly "I
think the man would have said: "WHAT [...] citeste tot
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student: - What are your
parents' names? The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and
my mother's name is Smiling. The
teacher said: - Are you kidding?
The student said: - No, Kidding
is my brother. I am Joking. : : deschide bancul
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of
your emergency? Caller: My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only
two minutes apart! Dispatcher: Is
this her first child? Caller: This
is her husband! : : deschide bancul
Woman's revenge... - Cash, check or
charge? I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase. As she
fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a
remote control for a television set in
her purse. - So, do you always carry
your TV remote? I asked. - No, she
replied, but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, and I figured this was
the most evil thing I could do to him
legally. : : deschide bancul
I've sure gotten old. I've had two
bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and
diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, and
take 40 different medications that make
me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my
hands and feet anymore. Can't remember
if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my
friends. But, thankfully, I still have
my driver's license. : : deschide bancul
George B.: Condi! Nice to see you.
What's happening? Condoleeza R.:
Sir, I have the report here about the
new leader of China. George B.:
Great. Lay it on me. Condoleeza R.:
Hu is the new leader of China.
George B.: That's what I want to
know. Condoleeza R.: That's what I'm
telling you. George B.: That's what
I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of
China? Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B.: I mean the fellow's name.
Condoleeza R.: Hu. George B.:
The guy in China. Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B.: The new leader of China.
Condoleeza R.: Hu. George B.:
The Chinaman! Condoleeza R.: Hu is
leading China. George B.: Now
whaddya' asking me [...] citeste tot
A young man married a beautiful woman
who had previously divorced ten
husbands. She told her new husband,
"Please be gentle with me, as for me
it's the first time." "What?" said
the puzzled groom. "How can that be if
you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales
Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be." "Husband
#2 was in Software Services; he was
never really sure how it was supposed to
function, but he said he'd look into it
and get back to me." "Husband #3 was
from Field Services; he said everything
checked out diagnostically but he just
couldn't get the system up."
"Husband #4 was in Telemarketing;
even though he knew he had [...] citeste tot