Bancuri in Engleza (English): cele mai citite

bancuri: 1 - 10 din 132


What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
Answer: It's Christmas, Eve! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Citit de 5 ori : : Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 17:47
Nota 6.3 din 13 voturi


A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?" : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Citit de 3 ori : : Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 13:19
Nota 8.8 din 12 voturi


You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car.
Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Citit de 3 ori : : Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 20:02
Nota 8.7 din 17 voturi


I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, and take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thankfully, I still have my driver's license. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Citit de 3 ori : : Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 17:14
Nota 8.3 din 6 voturi


The truth about working in the IT industry:

1. We work weird (night) shifts...
2. They pay you to make the client happy...
3. The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every penny...
4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the client's dreams...
5. Your friends fall apart and you end up hanging out with people in the same profession as you...
6. When you have to meet the client you always have to be perfectly groomed...
7. But when you go back home it seems like you are coming back from hell...
8. The client always wants to pay less but expects incredible things from you...
9. When people ask you about your job, you have [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Citit de 3 ori : : Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 21:59
Nota 8.3 din 8 voturi


Hearing so many people speaking about his intelligence level, George "double you" Bush decided to get his brain checked.
The physician diagnosis was as follows:
- Mr. President, you have two brains, the left and the right, like all normal people. But the problem is that in your left brain there is nothing right and in your right brain there is nothing left. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Citit de 3 ori : : Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 19:31
Nota 8.0 din 8 voturi


Worst Things To Say On A First Date:
- I used to have a real bad bedwetting problem... but the last couple of weeks I've gotten it under control.
- I know we just met and this might seem a little sudden. .. but could I borrow five hundred dollars?
- Go ahead and Super Size - I found spare change in the sofa today.
- Something tells me that you're very special... but with medication I can usually ignore it.
- I don't see my ex-girlfriend that much... thanks to the U.S. Department of Justice.
- Do you want to play doctor? That'll be five hundred dollars.
- Wait till my wife hears about this!
- I had a good time tonight. I'd love to see you again in six to eight [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Citit de 3 ori : : Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 17:09
Nota 7.0 din 7 voturi


On a sunny morning, William's mother came into her son's room and said, "William, it's Sunday. Time to get up! Time to get up and go to church! Get up!"
From under the covers came mumbles, "I don't want to go!"
"What do you mean?" she said. "That's silly! Now get up and get dressed and go to church!"
"No!" he shot back. "I'll give you two reasons. I don't like them and they don't like me!"
"Nonsense," she told him. "I'll give YOU two reasons to go. First, you are 42 years old, and second, you are the PASTOR!" : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Citit de 3 ori : : Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 04:43
Nota 7.0 din 7 voturi


Success is just like being pregnant.
Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you tried! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Citit de 2 ori : : Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 19:06
Nota 9.3 din 22 voturi : : Comentarii: 1


Ten Things men know for sure about women.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. Women have breasts. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Citit de 2 ori : : Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 17:30
Nota 9.2 din 19 voturi : : Comentarii: 1

sus