Two cows are conversing in a field. The
first one says to the other, "Have you
heard about this 'mad cow disease' that
is going around?" The second cow
responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried
about it; I'm an airplane!" : : deschide bancul
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student: - What are your
parents' names? The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and
my mother's name is Smiling. The
teacher said: - Are you kidding?
The student said: - No, Kidding
is my brother. I am Joking. : : deschide bancul
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN
DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2.
Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4.
THINGS THAT ARE VERY
DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1.
Passive-aggressive disorder 4. Tran
THINGS THAT ARE
DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married. 2.
Nope, no more booze for me! 3.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not
hungry. 5. Good evening, officer.
Isn't it lovely out tonight? 6. Oh,
I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing
karaoke. 7. I'm not interested in
fighting you. 8. Thank you, but [...] citeste tot
You are driving along in your car on a
wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus
stop, and you see three people waiting
for the bus: 1. An old lady who
looks as if she is about to die. 2.
An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you
have been dreaming about. Which one
would you choose to offer a ride to,
knowing that there could only be one
passenger in your car. Think before
you continue reading. This is a
moral/ethical dilemma that was once
actually used as part of a job
application. You could pick up the
old lady, because she is going to die,
and thus you should save her first; or
you could take the old friend because he
once saved [...] citeste tot
Statement: Senior Citizens Are Valuable!
We are more valuable than any of the
younger generations: - We have
silver in our hair. - We have gold
in our teeth. - We have stones in
our kidneys. - We have lead in our
feet and. - We are loaded with
natural gas : : deschide bancul
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny. - - - - - -
- - - - - NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
Bastard) SEX: Not lately, but I am
looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate) DESIRED
POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in a position to be
picky, I wouldn't be applying here in
the first place? DESIRED SALARY:
$185,000 a year plus stock options and a
Michael Ovitz style severancepackage. If
that's not possible, make an offer and
we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target [...] citeste tot
The phone rang. It was a salesman from a
mortgage refinance company. "Do you have
a second mortgage on your home?"
"No," I replied. "Would you like
to consolidate all your debts?" "I
really don't have any," I said. "How
about freeing up cash for home
improvements?" he tried. "I don't
need any. I just recently had some done
and paid cash," I parried. There was
a brief silence, and then he asked, "Are
you looking for a husband?" : : deschide bancul