Bancuri in Engleza (English): ultimele citite azi

bancuri: 1 - 10 din 269


I have a great dog. She's half Labrador, half Pit-bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me. Jimi Celeste : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 21 Februarie 2019, 01:14
Nota 7.9 din 19 voturi


Why did the woman cross the Road?

Never mind that - what I would like to know is what she was doing out of the kitchen, in the first place! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 21 Februarie 2019, 01:14
Nota 8.0 din 6 voturi


See if you can do this. Read each line aloud.

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word
in each line from the top.
Betcha you can't resist passing it on. LOL! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 21 Februarie 2019, 01:14
Nota 8.1 din 18 voturi


There were these three nuns that were killed in a traffic accident, and immediately sent to the Pearly Gates.
As St. Peter was looking over their files, he said, "You ladies have been very good, but before I can let you in, you have to answer a question." So he asks the first nun,
- "What was the name of the first man that God created?"
- "Adam," she replied. The lights started flashing, music started playing, the angels started singing, and then two angels came out and gave the nun her halo and wings, and off she went into the Pearly Gates. Then St.Peter asked the second nun,
- "What was the name of the name of the first woman that God created?"
- "Eve," the nun said. [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 21 Februarie 2019, 01:11
Nota 8.4 din 8 voturi


Year 1981 =========
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
3. Pope Died.

Year 2005 =========
1. Prince Charles got married (again)
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe (again)
3. Pope Died.

*** In Future,
if Charles wants to re-marry
or Liverpool needs another crown. .... POOR POPE....!! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 21 Februarie 2019, 01:11
Nota 7.6 din 5 voturi


There is this good old barber in one city in the US.
- One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service." The Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
- A policeman goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you.
I am doing community service." The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 21 Februarie 2019, 01:08
Nota 8.0 din 10 voturi


1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 21 Februarie 2019, 01:01
Nota 7.9 din 15 voturi


21st CENTURY LIFELESSNESS...

Our communication - Wireless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our religion - Creedless
Our food - Fatless
Our faith - Godless
Our labor - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our Follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Finally, Our Salary - Veryless : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 21 Februarie 2019, 00:59
Nota 8.5 din 4 voturi


A man called home to his wife and said,
"Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box? We're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up."
"Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 21 Februarie 2019, 00:53
Nota 8.0 din 11 voturi


A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?" : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 21 Februarie 2019, 00:52
Nota 8.8 din 12 voturi

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