Bancuri in Engleza (English): ultimele citite azi

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I have a great dog. She's half Labrador, half Pit-bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me. Jimi Celeste : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 16 Decembrie 2018, 16:42
Nota 7.9 din 19 voturi


Why did the woman cross the Road?

Never mind that - what I would like to know is what she was doing out of the kitchen, in the first place! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 16 Decembrie 2018, 16:42
Nota 8.0 din 6 voturi


See if you can do this. Read each line aloud.

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word
in each line from the top.
Betcha you can't resist passing it on. LOL! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 16 Decembrie 2018, 16:41
Nota 8.1 din 18 voturi


Many hymnals have a hymn called 'Gladly
the Cross I'd Bear.'  It seems
that one week when the church secretary
was typing the Sunday bulletin, she
asked the pastor which hymn would come
just before ...Many hymnals have a hymn called "Gladly the Cross I'd Bear."

It seems that one week when the church secretary was typing the Sunday
bulletin, she asked the pastor which hymn would come just before the
sermon. He replied with the above-mentioned hymn.

The following Sunday the bulletin read:

Hymn No. 134: "Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear." : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 16 Decembrie 2018, 16:38
Nota 8.5 din 6 voturi


"Davey, what sound does a cow make?"
Davey replied, "It goes 'moo.'"

"Alice, what sound does a cat make?"
Alice said, "It goes 'meow.'"

"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?"
Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa.'"

"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?"
Jennifer paused, and said, "Uhh. .. it goes. .. 'click!'" : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 16 Decembrie 2018, 16:35
Nota 7.0 din 7 voturi


This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A format:
 'Q. What is an Economic
Stimulus Payment? 'A. It is ...This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A
format:

"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.

"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

"Q. But isn't [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 16 Decembrie 2018, 16:31
Nota 8.3 din 7 voturi


My grandmother is a computer geek. She also has trouble remembering quickly sometimes. One day she couldn't think of what she wanted to tell us.
Mom explained, "Your grandma is trying to retrieve the information, but it is taking awhile. Evidently she hasn't defragmented her hard drive lately." : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 16 Decembrie 2018, 16:29
Nota 6.9 din 8 voturi


Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 16 Decembrie 2018, 16:24
Nota 8.0 din 14 voturi


Man: God?
God: Yes!?
Man: Can I ask you something?
God: Yes.
Man: What is for you a million of years?
God: A second.
Man: And a million of dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 16 Decembrie 2018, 16:22
Nota 8.7 din 12 voturi


During a taxi, the crew of a US Air departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with a United 727. The irate ground controller (a female) lashed out at the US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I know it's difficult to tell the difference between a C and a D, but get it right."
Continuing her lashing to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically, "You've screwed everything up; it'll take forever to sort this out. You stay right there and don't move until I tell you to. You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about a half [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 16 Decembrie 2018, 16:22
Nota 7.5 din 8 voturi

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