Bancuri in Engleza (English): ultimele citite azi

bancuri: 1 - 10 din 133


I have a great dog. She's half Labrador, half Pit-bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me. Jimi Celeste : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 21:37
Nota 7.9 din 19 voturi


Why did the woman cross the Road?

Never mind that - what I would like to know is what she was doing out of the kitchen, in the first place! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 21:37
Nota 8.0 din 6 voturi


See if you can do this. Read each line aloud.

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word
in each line from the top.
Betcha you can't resist passing it on. LOL! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 21:37
Nota 8.1 din 18 voturi


A hamster and a rat were sitting on the side of a swimming pool. They were enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat turned to the hamster and asked him:
Dude,

How come people consider me a noisance, and you a pet?
How come people pay money to have you, while they are trying to kill me?
How come you are considered a cute little animal, while I am considered creepy and disgusting?
How come you live in a warm home, and I have to stay in the sewer?

So the hamster answered: "It is branding, dude." : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 21:20
Nota 8.8 din 12 voturi


A Chinese couple got married. When a baby girl was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown. Finally, the father named the baby SUM TING RONG." : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 20:54
Nota 8.5 din 8 voturi


What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant.
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 20:45
Nota 7.0 din 4 voturi


THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: "Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.
THE END : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 20:35
Nota 8.5 din 4 voturi


A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house,so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver: "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.

"Sorry I took so long" he says. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 20:33
Nota 9.0 din 16 voturi


Q: How can you tell an extroverted mathematician?
A: He stares at YOUR shoes while talking to you. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 20:25
Nota 8.5 din 8 voturi


There is an old story about a mother who walks in on her six-year-old son and finds him sobbing. "What's the matter?" she asks.
"I've just figured out how to tie my shoes."
"Well, honey, that's wonderful." Being a wise mother, she recognizes his victory in the Eriksonian struggle of autonomy versus doubt: "You're growing up, but why are you crying?"
"Because," he says, "now I'll have to do it every day for the rest of my life." : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 22 Mai 2019, 20:21
Nota 7.0 din 6 voturi

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