Bancuri in Engleza (English): ultimele citite azi

bancuri: 1 - 10 din 164


Why did the woman cross the Road?

Never mind that - what I would like to know is what she was doing out of the kitchen, in the first place! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 18 August 2018, 15:59
Nota 8.0 din 6 voturi


A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?" : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 18 August 2018, 15:52
Nota 8.8 din 12 voturi


A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. She told her new husband, "Please be gentle with me, as for me it's the first time."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be."
"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me."
"Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up."
"Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 18 August 2018, 15:45
Nota 8.8 din 12 voturi


I have a great dog. She's half Labrador, half Pit-bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me. Jimi Celeste : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 18 August 2018, 15:39
Nota 7.9 din 19 voturi


- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
- The Lord's Prayer: 66 words.
- Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
- The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
- The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
- The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.

- - - The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words!!! - - - : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 18 August 2018, 15:27
Nota 9.0 din 13 voturi


Man: God?
God: Yes!?
Man: Can I ask you something?
God: Yes.
Man: What is for you a million of years?
God: A second.
Man: And a million of dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 18 August 2018, 15:23
Nota 8.7 din 12 voturi


CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles..
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 18 August 2018, 15:21
Nota 7.8 din 4 voturi


There is this good old barber in one city in the US.
- One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service." The Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
- A policeman goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you.
I am doing community service." The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 18 August 2018, 15:19
Nota 8.0 din 10 voturi


A new store named Husband-Mart opened. Husband-Mart is a store where women can go and choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of six floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flight of stairs. There is, however, a catch. AS you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So, this woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that is better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 18 August 2018, 15:18
Nota 8.0 din 14 voturi


Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them:
- It's a illegala to put a cinque people in a Quattro.
- Vot do you mean it's illegal? asks the German driver.
- Quattro meansa four, replies the Italian official.
- Quattro is just ze name of ze automobile!, the German says unbelievingly. Look at ze dam papers: ze car is designed to karry 5 persons.
- You canta puta thata one on me!, replies the Italian customs officer. Quattro meansa four. You have five-a people in a car and you are breaking the law.
- I vant to speak to someone viz more intelligence zupervisor over!
- Sorry. He can'ta [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 18 August 2018, 15:03
Nota 8.4 din 9 voturi

sus