A young man married a beautiful woman
who had previously divorced ten
husbands. She told her new husband,
"Please be gentle with me, as for me
it's the first time." "What?" said
the puzzled groom. "How can that be if
you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales
Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be." "Husband
#2 was in Software Services; he was
never really sure how it was supposed to
function, but he said he'd look into it
and get back to me." "Husband #3 was
from Field Services; he said everything
checked out diagnostically but he just
couldn't get the system up."
"Husband #4 was in Telemarketing;
even though he knew he had [...] citeste tot
Man: God? God: Yes!? Man: Can I
ask you something? God: Yes.
Man: What is for you a million of
years? God: A second. Man: And
a million of dollars? God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second! : : deschide bancul
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks
into a pharmacy and wanders up & down
the aisles.. The sales girl notices
him and asks him if she can help him. He
answers that he is looking for a box of
tampons for his wife. She directs him
down the correct aisle. A few
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of
cotton balls and a ball of string on the
counter. She says, confused, 'Sir, I
thought you were looking for some
tampons for your wife? He answers,
'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I
sent my wife to the store to get me a
carton of cigarettes, and she came back
with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
papers; cause it's sooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll [...] citeste tot
There is this good old barber in one
city in the US. - One day a florist
goes to him for a haircut. After the
cut, he goes to pay the barber and the
barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot
accept money from you. I am doing
community service." The Florist is happy
and leaves the shop. The next morning
when the barber goes to open his shop,
there is a thank you card and a dozen
roses waiting at his door. - A
policeman goes for a haircut and he also
goes to pay the barber after the cut.
But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I
cannot accept money from you. I am
doing community service." The cop is
happy and leaves the shop. The next
morning the barber goes to open his
shop, there is a [...] citeste tot
A new store named Husband-Mart opened.
Husband-Mart is a store where women can
go and choose a husband from among many
men. The store is composed of six
floors, and the men increase in positive
attributes as the shopper ascends the
flight of stairs. There is, however, a
catch. AS you open the door to any floor
you may choose a man from that floor,
but if you go up a floor, you cannot go
back down except to exit the building.
So, this woman goes to the
shopping center to find a husband. On
the first floor the sign on the door
reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to
herself, "Well, that is better than my
last boyfriend, but I wonder what [...] citeste tot
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive
at the Italian border. The Italian
Customs Officer stops them and tells
them: - It's a illegala to put a
cinque people in a Quattro. - Vot do
you mean it's illegal? asks the German
driver. - Quattro meansa four,
replies the Italian official. -
Quattro is just ze name of ze
automobile!, the German says
unbelievingly. Look at ze dam papers: ze
car is designed to karry 5 persons.
- You canta puta thata one on me!,
replies the Italian customs officer.
Quattro meansa four. You have five-a
people in a car and you are breaking the
law. - I vant to speak to someone
viz more intelligence zupervisor over!
- Sorry. He can'ta [...] citeste tot