Bancuri in Engleza (English): ultimele citite azi

bancuri: 1 - 10 din 158


I have a great dog. She's half Labrador, half Pit-bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me. Jimi Celeste : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 15 Octombrie 2018, 21:52
Nota 7.9 din 19 voturi


Why did the woman cross the Road?

Never mind that - what I would like to know is what she was doing out of the kitchen, in the first place! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 15 Octombrie 2018, 21:51
Nota 8.0 din 6 voturi


See if you can do this. Read each line aloud.

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word
in each line from the top.
Betcha you can't resist passing it on. LOL! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 15 Octombrie 2018, 21:51
Nota 8.1 din 18 voturi


Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going around?"
The second cow responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried about it; I'm an airplane!" : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 15 Octombrie 2018, 21:47
Nota 8.5 din 13 voturi


Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their 9 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the 9 kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus. So please shut up." : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 15 Octombrie 2018, 21:22
Nota 9.0 din 17 voturi


A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said:
- You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.
The cat thought for a minute and then said:
- All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.
God said:
- Say no more.
Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.
The mice said:
- Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs and even people with brooms! If we [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 15 Octombrie 2018, 21:02
Nota 8.4 din 7 voturi


There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 15 Octombrie 2018, 20:27
Nota 8.4 din 8 voturi


A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill:

"Are you Mrs. Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man from the electric company.

"What are you saying? It's in your files?????"

"Absolutely."

"Well, let me talk [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 15 Octombrie 2018, 20:25
Nota 8.4 din 7 voturi


- 25th Wedding Anniversary -
At the banquet of Tom and Susan's 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.
- Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?
Tom responded:
- Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 15 Octombrie 2018, 20:24
Nota 7.0 din 5 voturi


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Ultima oara citit: 15 Octombrie 2018, 20:17
Nota 8.2 din 12 voturi

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