Bancuri in Engleza (English): cele mai noi

bancuri: 51 - 60 din 293


Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work for a chat.
"I'm sorry dear," said Bill, "but I'm up to my neck in work today. I don't have time to chat."
Sally replied, "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you, dear."
"OK, darling," said Bill, "but as I've got no time right now, just give me the good news."
"OK," agreed Sally. "Well, the air bag works!" : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 7 August 2008
Nota 8.7 din 7 voturi


Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going around?"
The second cow responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried about it; I'm an airplane!" : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 23 Iulie 2008
Nota 8.5 din 13 voturi


There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to
hide evil intentions! The Team
Leader, busy figuring out what work to
dump on you next... And, there's
YOU, who struggles ...There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to hide evil intentions!
The Team Leader, busy figuring out what work to dump on you next...
And, there's YOU, who struggles with it all! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 22 Iunie 2008
Nota 7.3 din 10 voturi


A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife:
'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?'
The wife smiled sweetly and replied, 'Not this time!' : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 3 Iunie 2008
Nota 8.3 din 10 voturi


THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN
DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2.
Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4.
Cinnamon  THINGS THAT ARE VERY
DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1.
Specificity ...THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Tran substantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 22 Mai 2008
Nota 7.8 din 19 voturi


"I just don't understand it", an Irish footballer complained... "One match I play very well, and then the next match I'm terrible".
"Well", said his wife, "why don't you just play every other match?" : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 30 Aprilie 2008
Nota 7.4 din 10 voturi


Q: How can you tell an extroverted mathematician?
A: He stares at YOUR shoes while talking to you. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 30 Aprilie 2008
Nota 8.5 din 8 voturi


A property manager of an apartment complex was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions.
"Professionally employed?" he asked.
"We're a military family," the wife answered.
"Children?"
"Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly.
"Animals?"
"Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved." : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 23 Aprilie 2008
Nota 8.7 din 9 voturi


A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG!
He looks around; nobody's there. "I am having hallucinations," he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG!
So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after a bit, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
The deep voice says: OPEN!
OK, the man thinks, let's open the thing. He finds a rock with which to break the lock, and when the chest is finally open, he sees a lot of gold coins.
The deep voice says: TO THE CASINO!
Well, the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino.
The deep voice says: ROULETTE!
So he changes all the [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 18 Aprilie 2008
Nota 8.2 din 5 voturi


A man is waiting in line for a hit movie. Behind him are two women. The usher comes along and says that he has two seats together. Seeing the problem, the usher says to the man, "Let them go first. You wouldn't want to separate a woman from her mother, would you?"
The man says, "No, sir. I did that once, and I've been sorry ever since." : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 1 Aprilie 2008
Nota 7.2 din 12 voturi

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