Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work
for a chat. "I'm sorry dear," said
Bill, "but I'm up to my neck in work
today. I don't have time to chat."
Sally replied, "But I've got some
good news and some bad news for you,
dear." "OK, darling," said Bill,
"but as I've got no time right now, just
give me the good news." "OK," agreed
Sally. "Well, the air bag works!" : : deschide bancul
Two cows are conversing in a field. The
first one says to the other, "Have you
heard about this 'mad cow disease' that
is going around?" The second cow
responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried
about it; I'm an airplane!" : : deschide bancul
There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to
hide evil intentions! The Team
Leader, busy figuring out what work to
dump on you next... And, there's
YOU, who struggles with it all! : : deschide bancul
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful
daughters but always talked about having
a son. They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted. The
wife got pregnant and delivered a
healthy baby boy. The joyful father
rushed to the nursery to see his new
son. He was horrified at the ugliest
child he had ever seen. He told his
wife: 'There's no way I can be the
father of this baby. Look at the two
beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you
been fooling around behind my back?'
The wife smiled sweetly and replied,
'Not this time!' : : deschide bancul
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN
DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2.
Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4.
THINGS THAT ARE VERY
DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1.
Passive-aggressive disorder 4. Tran
THINGS THAT ARE
DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married. 2.
Nope, no more booze for me! 3.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not
hungry. 5. Good evening, officer.
Isn't it lovely out tonight? 6. Oh,
I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing
karaoke. 7. I'm not interested in
fighting you. 8. Thank you, but [...] citeste tot
"I just don't understand it", an Irish
footballer complained... "One match I
play very well, and then the next match
I'm terrible". "Well", said his
wife, "why don't you just play every
other match?" : : deschide bancul
A property manager of an apartment
complex was showing a unit to
prospective tenants and asking the usual
employed?" he asked. "We're a
military family," the wife answered.
"Children?" "Oh, yes, ages nine
and twelve," she answered proudly.
"Animals?" "Oh, no," she said
earnestly. "They're very well behaved." : : deschide bancul
A man walks along a lonely beach.
Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG!
He looks around; nobody's there. "I
am having hallucinations," he thinks.
Then he hears the voice again: I SAID,
DIG! So he starts to dig in the sand
with his bare hands, and after a bit, he
finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
The deep voice says: OPEN! OK,
the man thinks, let's open the thing. He
finds a rock with which to break the
lock, and when the chest is finally
open, he sees a lot of gold coins.
The deep voice says: TO THE CASINO!
Well, the casino is only a few miles
away, so the man takes the chest and
walks to the casino. The deep voice
says: ROULETTE! So he changes all
the [...] citeste tot
A man is waiting in line for a hit
movie. Behind him are two women. The
usher comes along and says that he has
two seats together. Seeing the problem,
the usher says to the man, "Let them go
first. You wouldn't want to separate a
woman from her mother, would you?"
The man says, "No, sir. I did that
once, and I've been sorry ever since." : : deschide bancul