Bancuri in Engleza (English): cele mai noi

bancuri: 41 - 50 din 293


Amazingly simple home remedies: 1.
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to
hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females
about lifting the ...Amazingly simple home remedies:
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; you'll be afraid to cough.
6. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 9 Noiembrie 2008
Nota 9.0 din 12 voturi


Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once
taking part in a local tournament. As he
was preparing to tee off, the organizer
of the tournament approached him and
pointed to the dark, threatening ...Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was preparing to tee off, the organizer of the tournament approached him and pointed to the dark, threatening storm clouds that were gathering.
"Preacher," the organizer said, "I trust you'll see to it that the weather won't turn bad on us."
Our pastor shook his head. "Sorry," he replied. "I'm sales, not management!" : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 29 Octombrie 2008
Nota 7.7 din 9 voturi


Many hymnals have a hymn called 'Gladly
the Cross I'd Bear.'  It seems
that one week when the church secretary
was typing the Sunday bulletin, she
asked the pastor which hymn would come
just before ...Many hymnals have a hymn called "Gladly the Cross I'd Bear."

It seems that one week when the church secretary was typing the Sunday
bulletin, she asked the pastor which hymn would come just before the
sermon. He replied with the above-mentioned hymn.

The following Sunday the bulletin read:

Hymn No. 134: "Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear." : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 16 Octombrie 2008
Nota 8.5 din 6 voturi


Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a
Donkey from a farmer for $100. The
farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the
next day.  The next day he drove
up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some
bad News, ...Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day.

The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad News, the donkey died.' Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.' The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him? Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.' The farmer said You can't raffle off a dead donkey!' Chuck said, 'Sure I can Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 14 Octombrie 2008
Nota 7.8 din 9 voturi


A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession, even to the grocery store, which was a few blocks from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age." : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 25 Septembrie 2008
Nota 9.0 din 11 voturi


Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar.

One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like him.

“Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?”

“Well, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was veeery hot. And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said ‘two PICKets to TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in the face. How about you? How’d you get yours?”

“Something similar actually! I was just having dinner with my wife, and what I MEANT to say was, ‘Honey, can you please pass the salt?’ But I slipped up and said “You, you, you ruined [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 24 August 2008
Nota 8.9 din 13 voturi


A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol.

He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of
whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey
curled up and died.

"All right, son," asked the father, "what does that show you?"

"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have
worms." : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 18 August 2008
Nota 8.5 din 19 voturi


A baby polar bear comes up to his mother and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?"
"Why, yes, son, of course you are a polar bear," she replies, sending him out to play.

Several minutes later, he returns. "Momma, are you absolutely sure I am a polar bear?"
"Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go and play."

Several minutes later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're sure I'm 100% polar bear?"
"Yes, son, 100% polar bear. I'm 100% polar bear, your father is 100% polar bear, and all of your grandparents are 100% polar bear," she responded proudly. "Now go out and play."

Several minutes later he returns again. "Momma, you are absolutely sure that I am a polar bear? No [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 13 August 2008
Nota 7.1 din 8 voturi


I recall a time when my son was about 18 months old. I had him strapped into a backpack and was rushing to catch the bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell down an entire flight of stairs (13 to be exact). I was bruised and bleeding and had torn my jeans ... but my main concern was, naturally, for my child.

My fears were alleviated, though, when from behind me I heard a gleeful giggle followed by, "Again!" : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 13 August 2008
Nota 8.4 din 8 voturi


A man called 911 and said, "Someone come quick! My wife fell asleep on the couch with her mouth open and a mouse ran down her throat!"

The operator replied, "Calm down, sir. Wave a piece of cheese over her mouth and maybe the mouse will come out. An ambulance is on the way."

When the ambulance arrived, the EMT found the man waving a fish over his wife's mouth.

"What on earth are you doing?" exclaimed the EMT. "Didn't the 911 operator tell you to wave a piece of cheese over your wife's mouth?"

"Yes," the man replied. "But I gotta get the cat out first." : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 13 August 2008
Nota 8.0 din 9 voturi

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