Bancuri in Engleza (English): cele mai noi

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Teacher:
- I killed a person. Tell me this sentence in future tense.
Student:
- In future tense: You will go to jail. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 19 Decembrie 2010
Nota 8.8 din 12 voturi


WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 30 Mai 2010
Nota 8.7 din 11 voturi


WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 30 Mai 2010
Nota 6.2 din 9 voturi


CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles..
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 30 Mai 2010
Nota 7.8 din 4 voturi


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 13 Mai 2010
Nota 9.2 din 16 voturi


Woman's revenge...
- Cash, check or charge? I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
- So, do you always carry your TV remote? I asked.
- No, she replied, but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 7 Mai 2010
Nota 8.5 din 10 voturi


Success is just like being pregnant.
Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you tried! : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 24 Iulie 2009
Nota 9.3 din 22 voturi : : Comentarii: 1


TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 1 Mai 2009
Nota 8.8 din 17 voturi


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. : : deschide bancul

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 1 Mai 2009
Nota 8.2 din 12 voturi


Dr. Marc Faber, investment guru, concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the following comments:
"The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer, it will go to India. If we purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car, it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.

The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on beer, since this is the only product still produced in the US.
[...] citeste tot

Categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Pe site din data de: 3 Aprilie 2009
Nota 8.5 din 12 voturi

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