On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had
made several attempts to get into the
men's restroom, but it had always been
occupied. The flight attendant noticed
his predicament. "Sir, she said, "You
may use the ladies room if you promise
not to touch any of the buttons on the
He did what he needed
to, and as he sat there he noticed the
Buttons he had promised not to touch.
Each button was identified by letters:
WW, WA,PP, and a red one labeled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them? He
couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm
water was sprayed gently upon his
bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought.
Men's restrooms don't have nice things
A hamster and a rat were sitting on the
side of a swimming pool. They were
enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat
turned to the hamster and asked him:
How come people
consider me a noisance, and you a pet?
How come people pay money to have
you, while they are trying to kill me?
How come you are considered a cute
little animal, while I am considered
creepy and disgusting? How come you
live in a warm home, and I have to stay
in the sewer?
Barbara Walters of 20/20 did a story on
gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan
several years before the Afghan
conflict. She noted that women
customarily walked about 5 paces
behind their husbands. She returned to
Kabul recently and observed that women
still walk behind their husbands, but
now seem to walk even further back and
are happy with the old custom. Ms.
Walters approached one of the Afghani
women and asked, "Why do you now seem
happy with the old custom that you used
to try to change?" "Land mines,"
said the woman.
Jack and Max are walking from religious
service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying. Max
replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks,
"Priest, may I smoke while I pray?"
But the Priest says, "No, my son,
you may not. That's utter disrespect to
our religion." Jack goes back to
his friend and tells him what the good
Priest told him. Max says, "I'm not
surprised. You asked the wrong question.
Let me try." And so Max goes up to the
Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray
while I smoke?" To which the Priest
eagerly replies, "By all means, my son.
By all means."
Moral : The
reply you get depends on the [...] read all
A couple was going out for the evening.
They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog
put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as
the couple start out, the dog shoots
back in the house. They don't want the
dog shut in the house,so the wife goes
out to the taxi while the husband goes
upstairs to chase the dog out. The
wife, not wanting it known that the
house will be empty explains to the taxi
driver: "He's just going upstairs to say
good-bye to my mother." A few minutes
later, the husband gets into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long" he says.
"Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed
and I had to poke her with a coat hanger
to get her to come out! Then I had to
wrap her in a blanket to keep [...] read all
Un ardelean in tren. Langa el, un sac
urias blocheaza culoarul. Trece
controlorul si-i zice: - Ia,
domnule, sacul si pune-l colo, sus, in
compartiment, ca e destul loc, nu mai
incurca circulatia! - No, las, ca-l
pun eu... Dupa un timp, controlorul
revine: - Bade, nu ti-am spus sa
iei sacul asta din drum si sa-l pui sus
in compartiment? - No, las, ca-l
pun, raspunde ardeleanul. - Ma, sa
nu te joci cu mine, adauga controlorul,
ca-ti trag o amenda de nu te vezi!
Dupa un timp, controlorul apare din
nou: - Cum, ma, n-ai pus sacul unde
trebuie, sa nu mai incurci lumea? Ei,
lasa, ca vezi acuma! Si, nici una,
nici doua, ii arde o amenda [...] read all
A young husband comes home one night,
and his wife throws her arms around his
neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a
month overdue. I think we're going to
have a baby! The doctor gave me a test
today, but until we find out for sure,
we can't tell anybody."
next day, a guy from the electric
company rings the door-bell, because the
young couple hasn't paid their last
"Are you Mrs. Smith?
You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the
"Well, ma'am, it's
in our files!" says the man from the
An American tourist in London found
himself needing to take a leak,
something terrible. After a long search
he just couldn't find any public
bathroom to relieve himself. So he went
down one of the side streets to take
care of business. Just as he was
unzipping, a London police officer
showed up. "Look here, old chap,
what are you doing?" the officer asked."
"I'm sorry," the American replied,
but I really gotta take a leak."
"You can't do that here," the
officer told him. "Follow me." The
police officer led him to a beautiful
garden with lots of grass, pretty
flowers, and manicured hedges.
"Here," said the policeman, "whiz
away." The American tourist
shrugged, turned, [...] read all