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Tatal ii spune feciorului:
- Stii, oamenii destepti intotdeauna au dubii, pe cand cei prostanaci sunt foarte siguri pe ei!
- Serios, tata?
- Absolut!!! : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri Diverse
Last time read: 17 July 2018, 22:20
Score 8.2 of 9 votes


Phrases For Your "Out-Of-The-Office" E-Mail Auto-Reply:

- I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

- I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

- You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

- Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

- I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be [...] read all

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Last time read: 17 July 2018, 22:20
Score 8.7 of 14 votes


O calugarita se duce la doctor:
- Doctore, nu pot scapa de sughit.
Doctorul o consulta si-i spune:
- Sunteti insarcinata.
Calugarita se intoarce la manastire si povesteste ce i-a spus doctorul.
A doua zi stareta se adreseaza doctorului:
- De ce i-ati spus asta calugaritei noastre?
- Ca sa o sperii si sa scape de sughit...
La care stareta:
- Cel care s-a speriat a fost episcopul, s-a aruncat din turn!!! : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri cu Doctori Medici Spitale
Last time read: 17 July 2018, 22:20
Score 8.0 of 6 votes


CE VOR FEMEILE DE LA BARBATI?

LISTA INITIALA (25 DE ANI)
1. Sa fie frumos
2. Sa aiba succes financiar
4. Sa asculte cu atentie
5. Sa aiba simtul umorului
6. Sa fie in buna forma fizica
7. Sa se imbrace elegant
8. Sa aprecieze lucrurile fine
9. Sa fie plin de surprize placute
10. Sa fie un amant grozav

LISTA REVIZUITA (35 DE ANI)
1. Sa fie dragut (de preferat cu par pe cap)
2. Sa deschida usa, sa tina scaunul la masa
3. Sa aiba suficienti bani pentru o cina placuta
4. Sa asculte mai mult decat vorbeste
5. Sa rada la glumele ei
6. Sa aduca cumparaturile din piata
7. Sa aiba cel putin o cravata si o pereche de [...] read all

Category: Bancuri cu Barbati si Femei
Last time read: 17 July 2018, 22:20
Score 8.9 of 28 votes


Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy. : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Last time read: 17 July 2018, 22:20
Score 7.0 of 7 votes


Answering Machine at the Mental Hospital:

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hospital.

-If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

-If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

-If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

-If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

-If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the mother ship.

-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

-If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, [...] read all

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Last time read: 17 July 2018, 22:20
Score 8.0 of 13 votes


Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives! : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Last time read: 17 July 2018, 22:20
Score 8.0 of 14 votes


Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk. : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Last time read: 17 July 2018, 22:20
Score 8.0 of 13 votes


Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes....... : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Last time read: 17 July 2018, 22:20
Score 8.0 of 12 votes


Friends of women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. So the husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.

Friends of men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night and another 5 are claiming that he is still with them. : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
Last time read: 17 July 2018, 22:19
Score 8.9 of 57 votes

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