Bancuri in Engleza (English): highest scores

jokes: 1 - 10 of 188


Success is just like being pregnant.
Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you tried! : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 24 July 2009
Score 9.3 of 22 votes : : Comments: 1


A man is walking along a cliff and all of a sudden loses his balance, slips, and falls off. Fortunately, he has the presence of mind to grab on to the edge, and he's hanging there for dear life. He hangs and hangs an finally yells out: "Is there anybody up there who can help me?"
There's no answer.
He keeps calling and calling. "Is there anybody up there who can help me?".
Finally this big bellowing voice calls back.: " This is God. I can help you.
Just let go and TRUST." Next thing you hear: " Is there anybody ELSE up there who can help me?" : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 20 August 2007
Score 9.3 of 11 votes


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 13 May 2010
Score 9.2 of 16 votes


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find
North America. <br>MARIA: Here it is.
<br>TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who
discovered America? <br>CLASS: Maria.TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria. : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 26 November 2008
Score 9.2 of 16 votes


Bula at the exam:
Teacher:
- Bula, I hope that this time I won't catch you cheating again!
Bula:
- I hope so too. : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 18 August 2011
Score 9.0 of 16 votes


- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
- The Lord's Prayer: 66 words.
- Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
- The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
- The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
- The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.

- - - The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words!!! - - - : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 10 April 2007
Score 9.0 of 13 votes


If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, itwill always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free... You either married it or gave birth to it : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 9 August 2007
Score 9.0 of 12 votes


A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession, even to the grocery store, which was a few blocks from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age." : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 25 September 2008
Score 9.0 of 11 votes


At a U2 concert in Ireland, Bono (the lead singer) asks the audience for some quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone...
"I want you to think about something. Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A voice from the front of the audience yells out...
"Then ****** stop clapping, ya ********!" : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 19 June 2007
Score 9.0 of 8 votes


First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet School were receiving theirfirst anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them:
- In vet medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: the first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.
For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck hisfinger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck hisfinger in his mouth:
- Go ahead and do the same thing, he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns [...] read all

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 2 May 2007
Score 9.0 of 8 votes

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