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Bancuri in Engleza / English
Proposed by: Claudia 29 Jul 2009 Pentru a veni in intampinarea si
ajutorul turistilor straini care
viziteaza Romania, blonda de la turism a
hotarat sa se procedeze la traducera in
engleza a denumirilor unor localitati
din diferite zone ale tarii tuturor
posibilitatilor. Primarii sunt
solicitati sa instaleze indicatoare
rutiere noi la intrarea si iesirea din
localitate, avand inseminate numele
localitatii lor in ambele limbi: romana
si engleza.
Si iata traducerea in engleza a unor
orase din Romania, in ordine
alfabetica:
> Adunatii Copaceni - Gathered Tree
People
> Afumati - Neversober
> Baicoi - Youball
> Buhusi - Boo
> Buzau -Really Fat Lip
> Calarasi - Silly-dressed Folks on
Horses
> Ciorogarla -Nigger-River
> Constanta - The Steadiness
> Dor Marunt - Miniature Melancholy
> Husi - Shoo
> Navodari - Networkers
> Onesti - The Sincere
> Pitesti - Youdohide
> Satu-Mare - The Rather Roomy Rural
Community
> Slatina - Slut Tina
> Slobozia - A Very Wrong
LocalTradition
> Târgu Frumos - The Aesthetically
Pleasing Bazaar
> Urlati - Gimme Some Noise
> Voluntari - Town of Unpaid Assistants |
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Bancuri in Engleza / English
Proposed by: Simona 24 Jul 2009Success is just like being pregnant.
Everybody congratulates you but nobody
knows how many times you were fucked! |
| Comments: 1joke sent once |
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Bancuri in Engleza / English
Proposed by: Claudia 1 May 2009TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a
person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher |
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Bancuri in Engleza / English
Proposed by: Claudia 1 May 2009TEACHER: George Washington not only
chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you
know why his father didn't punish
him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe
in his hand. |
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Bancuri in Engleza / English
Proposed by: Sorin 3 Apr 2009Dr. Marc Faber, investment guru,
concluded his monthly bulletin (June
2008) with the following comments:
"The federal government is sending each
of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that
money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to
China. If we spend it on gasoline it
goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer,
it will go to India. If we purchase
fruits and vegetables it will go to
Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we
purchase a good car, it will go to
Germany. If we purchase useless crap, it
will go to Taiwan and none of it will
help the American economy.
The only way to keep that money here at
home is to spend it on prostitutes and
beer, since these are the only products
still produced in the US.
I've been doing my part... |
| joke sent 3 times |
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Bancuri in Engleza / English
Proposed by: Sorin 2 Apr 2009On Vatican Church notice board and Press
Release:
"Be all Women informed that lying in
bed, naked, entangled with somebody and
screaming:
* Oh my God! *
* Oh my God! *
* Oh my God! *
will not be considered PRAYING." |
| joke sent 2 times |
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Bancuri in Engleza / English
Proposed: 6 Mar 2009 When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire
from public life, the British ambassador
and his wife threw a gala dinner party
in his honor. At the dinner table, the
Ambassador’s wife was talking with
Madame deGaulle:
- Your husband has been such a prominent
public figure, such a presence on the
French and international scene for so
many years! How quiet retirement will
seem in comparison. What are you most
looking forward to in these retirement
years?
- A penis, replied Madame deGaulle.
A huge hush fell over the table.
Everyone heard her answer... and no one
knew what to say next. Le Grand Charles
leaned over to his wife and said:
- Ma cherie, I believe ze English
pronounce zat word, "appiness"! |
| joke sent 3 times |
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Bancuri in Engleza / English
Proposed by: Sorin 28 Jan 2009 This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
format:
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus
Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal
government will send to taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this
money?
"A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back
my own money?
"A. No, they are borrowing it from
China. Your children are expected to
repay the Chinese.
"Q. What is the purpose of this
payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the
money to purchase a high-definition TV
set, thus stimulating the economy.
"Q. But isn't that stimulating the
economy of China?
"A. Shut up." |
| joke sent 3 times |
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Bancuri in Engleza / English
Proposed by: Elena 27 Jan 2009An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert,
moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic
cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale,
he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the
kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice
anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over.. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the
bathroom, undressed and walked back into
the kitchen completely naked except for
the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder
this time, "Notice anything different
NOW?"
Margaret looked up and exclaimed, "Bert,
what's different? It's hanging down
today, it was hanging down yesterday,
it'll be hanging down again
tomorrow!"
Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW
WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope", she replied.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING
AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"
Without changing her expression,
Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat,
Bert. Shoulda bought a hat." |
| joke sent 7 times |
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Bancuri in Engleza / English
Proposed by: easyGoing 19 Dec 2008 A newlywed farmer and his wife were
visited by her mother, who immediately
demanded an inspection of the place.
While they were walking through the
barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared
up and kicked the mother-in-law in the
head, killing her instantly.
At the funeral service a few days later,
the farmer stood near the casket and
greeted folks as they walked by. The
pastor noticed that whenever a woman
would whisper something to the farmer,
he would nod his head "yes" and say
something. Whenever a man walked by and
whispered to the farmer, he would shake
his head "no" and mumble a reply.
Curious, the pastor later asked the
farmer what that was all about. The
farmer replied, "The women would say,
'What a terrible tragedy,' and I would
nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The
men would ask, 'You wanna sell that
mule?' and I would shake my head and
say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a
year.'" |
| joke sent 2 times |
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