De Sfantul Nicolae, Printre fulgii
de nea, imaginari, M-am strecurat
aseara la tine, in casuta, Sa-ti las
un dar, simbolic, acolo in ghetuta,
Dar te-am vazut dormind, si atunci,
Ti-am lasat un pupic dulce pe obraz.
Mos Nicolae ... deschide bancul
An American tourist in London found
himself needing to take a leak,
something terrible. After a long search
he just couldn't find any public
bathroom to relieve himself. So he went
down one of the side streets to take
care of business. Just as he was
unzipping, a London police officer
showed up. "Look here, old chap,
what are you doing?" the officer asked."
"I'm sorry," the American replied, ... citeste tot
Tom Thumb, Sleeping Beauty, and
Quasimodo were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said: - I
believe myself to be the most beautiful
girl in the world. Tom Thumb said:
- I must be the smallest person in
the world. Quasimodo said: - I
absolutely have to be the ugliest person
in the world.
They decided to
go to the Guinness Book of World Records
to have their claims verified.
Sleeping ... citeste tot
Satan greets Bill Gates: - Welcome
Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you.
This will be your home for all eternity.
You've been selfish, greedy and a big
liar all your life. Now, since you've
got me in a good mood, I'll be generous
and give you a choice of three places in
which you'll be locked up forever.
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of
fire in which millions of poor souls are
tormented ... citeste tot
"'Telefonul' are prea multe lipsuri
pentru a fi considerat in mod serios un
mijloc de comunicatii. Dispozitivul nu
are in principiu valoare pentru noi."
Comunicat al Western Union, 1876. ... deschide bancul
Daca ziua ar avea 36 de ore, as petrece
12 culegand flori pt tine. Daca ziua ar
avea 48 de ore, ti-as compune poezii de
dragoste. Daca ziua ar avea 72 de ore as
escalada un munte doar ca sa strig lumii
cat de mult te iubesc. Insa tot ce avem
sunt 24 de ore. Asa ca voi pastra acest
mesaj scurt si voi petrece fiecare ora
pretioasa cu tine, acum si intotdeauna. ... deschide bancul
Alinuta ajunge la scoala toata numai un
zambet. Sa iasa din "faza" de zambit...
nici vorba. - Alinuta, o intreaba
un coleg, de ce zambesti, asa,
intr-una? - Nu zambesc, mi-a prins
mama prea strans parul la spate... ... deschide bancul
In Bucuresti, la ora de varf, o
domnisoara grabita e prinsa intr-un
blocaj de circulatie. Ii spune stresata
soferului de taxi: - Spuneti-mi, nu
s-ar putea sa mergem putin mai repede?
- Eu as putea, domnita, mormaie
imbufnat taximetristul, dar nu pot sa
las aici masina... ... deschide bancul
One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to
pack his own lunch for school. His mom
agreed. But they couldn't agree on what
he should pack, so they both made lists.
This was the mom's list:
One sandwich One apple
Pretzels A carton of milk
This was Jake's list: Candy
Candy Candy
Jake agreed
to compromise. Sure enough, the next
morning, Jake was ready for school and
he packed his lunch. ... citeste tot